The Spinster

Something I wrote on my scrapping group's board...just want it in the appropriate place for future reference.



There are a few of us in the world who are trying to reclaim the word "spinster." Watch out, I'm about to drop some info from Wiki...

A spinster is a woman who has never been married, though it is usually applied only to women who are regarded as beyond the normal age for marriage, which has varied between cultures and eras. The word spinster came into common use during the early 19th century when spinning thread provided unmarried women a useful role in the home.

There used to be quite a stigma related to being a spinster, but this has somewhat disappeared in modern Western Civilization along with the establishment of women's rights to vote, own property, and pursue career goals as well as changing social mores regarding nonmarital sexual relationships and advents in birth control. Stereotypes historically perpetuated about spinsters include sexual and emotional frigidity, frumpiness, depression, moral virtue, religious devotion, victim of an oppressive mother and family caretaker.

The notion of the spinster has been adopted by some in the late 20th and early 21st centuries as a positive and even empowering lifestyle choice, one not necessarily linked to romantic or sexual abstinence.



Ok, so I definitely fit some of the stereotypes of the old-fashioned spinster, but that's my choice. And I've had love and oppportunities for marriage, but for certain reasons they didn't work out. I may go through my occasional boo hoos about love and loss, but ultimately I know that if I really wanted to get married, I'd have no problem getting married. But that's not enough for me. I don't settle. Period. I will not have a substandard man, and that's not to say that I'm picky or shallow, I just know what is important to me. Like the saying goes, I don't just want someone I can live with, I want someone I can't live without. And I haven't met that guy yet, and even if I don't, I'm ok with it.

So that's all I'm saying, I'm a spinster (in my culture), and I'm glad. I'd rather be a spinster who's in control of her life than feel trapped by a poor choice. Please don't think that I'm fishing for reassurance that some day my prince will come. I don't want you guys to think I'm feeling sorry for myself (I think I'm over that hump already).