Bastards

So for the first time in my life I actually feel like an illegitimate child.

Yesterday my mom, sister, niece and I went to a surprise party for an old friend of my mother's. This lady, whom we call Aunt, happens to be my father's neighbor. My aunt's older daughter invited us, and the younger one invited my dad and his wife. For those who don't know the story, my dad was married and had his wife and kids in Mexico while he lived another life stateside. When his wife got wind of his other life, she brought her family here, to tame her philandering husband I guess. When my mom found out he was married, she told him to honor his commitment and she'd take care of us on her own. My father thought that was laughable, but was quite comfortable leaving us.

Anyway, all these years, my dad lived with his family, never giving a hoot, or a dime, about my sister and me except for an occasional (every 5 years) attempt to talk to us. Lately, due to certain events in his life, his conscience has really been bugging him. My sister is more open and forgiving than me in general, and honestly I tried being more receptive to my dad. But he's just so annoying and smug, and my general mantra being "Life is too short to spend it with people you dislike," I just can't be bothered with him.

So anyway, back to yesterday. My sister and niece got to the restaurant before us and got the stink eye from my father's wife. When they came out to the parking lot and informed us of the situation, my mom said she didn't want to go in. My mom says even a mistress has to know her place and have dignity. So while we were discussing where to go for brunch, my father came out sproting a huge grin, as is his wont. He asked us why we were leaving. When we told him my mom wouldn't be comfortable, he said, "They can put you in a separate room." :FireyMad:

THIS is exactly the shit that infuriates me about my father. He doesn't seem to think anything of cheating on his wife repeatedly, and then flaunting it in her face. He said not to worry about that, "that" meaning his wife. It's just amazing to me that we, the bastard children, have more respect for his wife than he does. I told him as much and that it's always women that bear the brunt of men's mistakes. My sister said when he turned around, he had tears in his eyes. She didn't know what I was saying to him but once I told her she said that all these years he's been wondering why I won't talk to him. Well, now he knows why I keep my mouth shut around him.

AND, he not only has no respect for his wife, or my mom, he also thinks it's ok for US, his children to be shuttled to a back room like 2nd class citizens. Out of sight out of mind. Well fuck that. I've been tolerating his presence lately for my sister's sake. She knew him as daddy, I didn't. To me, he was always just the strange man who'd come around every so often and make my mom nervous.

Sheesh, if I didn't have daddy issues all these years, I will now. Bastard.