Priscilla

Yesterday, one of my pts passed away. She was one of the sweetest kids I've ever taken care of. Lately I'd started to look at her and feel really sad that she would never be able to do the stuff that other teens would experience. For all the dumb things I did as a kid, I'm thankful that I had the chance to do them even though I cringe at them now. Pris yearned for those experiences, but was too sick to act her age. Maybe now when teenagers are getting on my nerves at the movies or the mall, I'll be able to appreciate their youth and vitality, at least for a while until they really annoy me.

P wrote letters to her friends, sisters, and the nurses before she died. It reminded me of a scrapbook Vanessa Reyes made for her daughter. She and her husband wrote letters to their daughter for certain milestones, first day of school, first boyfriend, wedding day, birth of her child, etc. The letters are meant to be opened only if either or both had passed away. I think it is important to let people know how you feel about them every day (ok, maybe not those you loathe). But sometimes it's difficult to get those really mushy feelings out in person. We should all give it a try sometime.

So this year I'm taking away these two things from the pts I've lost. From Jess, telling people what you like about them as the thought strikes you, and from Priscilla, putting your thoughts into writing before it's too late.

I apologize if I get all mushy whenever someone dies, but this is basically my journal. I'm around more death than the average person and it sort of skews my thinking.