Spinster of Tomorrow

Good riddance 2008

2008-12-31T09:36:00.000-08:00

I am so glad to see this year end. Some very rotten stuff has happened this year right up until the end and I can't wait to say goodbye to this terrible, no-good, very bad year.

So somewhere on the mayhem that is my desk is my list of resolutions for 2008. I can't quite remember every item on it, but as I am a woman I'm sure losing weight ranked high on the list. Saving money for a house and car were on it. I guess that covers the important stuff of life...health, security, transportation.

Weight. I can happily report that I have lost a grand total of 3 lbs in the last year through no effort on my part. I started the year working out several times a week for several months, but the last few I can always find other things to do instead of working out. Laundry, sleep, helping my sister, cleaning.

Savings. Not so good on that front. I honestly don't know where my money goes. It's not like I go shopping much (and my sad wardrobe can attest to that), I gave up all my hobbies, and as I lack a drug habit I really wonder how my money just seeps from my account. Too many movies perhaps?

Still, with the housing market tanking (neener neener overspending greedy bastards) I have some hope that I may finally be able to afford a home of my own. Soooo not looking forward to having my mother move in with me, but she's getting long in the tooth and I do need her to fulfill my spinsterly destiny. She'll take the place of a cat.

I will have to work on my resolutions for 2009 but for those of us who sorta left our 2008 resolutions by the wayside, check out the link below for ideas on how to get some of the most common resolutions checked off your list in ONE DAY. How efficient is that?!?

Diary of a Crafty Chica
Warp speed resolutions? Bring 'em on!

NKOTB

2008-10-09T16:56:00.000-07:00

One of the highlight of my year. Certainly the best time I've had in a long time.

New Kids on the Block concert last night at Staples Center. They are still so yummy.

But here's an old school video. It's obvious why it was so easy for a 12 year old to love Joey McIntyre.

And here's one of them now. Clearly, still yummy.

2008-08-10T23:29:00.000-07:00

This year just sucks in so many ways. I thought it was just the month of May being bad, but I keep hearing so much bads news lately. Just when I think I've got a handle on one pile of crap, suddenly there's another heaping portion.

If I've learned anything in the past few years, it's that times like this make me appreciate all the more the hugs I get, the kindness I receive, the laughing fits I have. That's the stuff that we call life and what makes us human. Too bad with all that good comes the bad and the ugly.

My sister has cancer. Stage IV gastric cancer to be exact. In the last few weeks she's had abdominal surgery, a medication infusion device implanted, and started chemo. Several other people I know have recently been diagnosed with some form of cancer. And now 2 other people I care about are waiting on results. These are all young people. Not to be mean, because I love old people more than most people do, but honestly, it's just not fair for so many young vibrant lives to be threatened. It's just not right and I'll never understand it. But it is what it is.

There's no reason for this post other than my wanting to record my feelings at this moment. I look forward to the day when my biggest concern will be whether I'm dating or not.

I ran into someone today

2008-06-02T22:19:00.000-07:00

My first boyfriend. So even HE is married and has kids. If you ever met the guy you'd understand my surprise. Though he did say if he had to do it over again, he wouldn't have married. Seems like I keep hearing things like that. I think the universe is talking to me again.

Anyway, just strange to have a blast from the past.

Procrastinating

2008-05-07T13:16:00.000-07:00

So I've mentioned that I think in terms of lists. A while back, I found this neato book at Urban Outfitters. I haven't actually filled it out but figured I may as well make it a bloggercise. Seems like a fine way to procrastinate.

List Pets You've Had and Their Names

*1984 - a furry (not sleek, yuck) guinea pig named Squeaky. The day she died I ran into my sister's room screaming "She's dead! She's dead!" and my sister thought I was talking about our mom.

*1985 - another furry guinea pig by the name of CeeCee. We took her with us when we moved to Texas. Some asshole(s) broke into our house, stole some stuff, and killed her. How cruel is that?

*1989 - a runt of a cat my sister bought from some kids on our street. His name was Bandit since he was all white except for his black paws and the black patch across his eyes. He was a cutie. My mom got sick of him for no good reason and gave him away. I still haven't forgiven her for that.

*1993 - the BEST dog EVER, my Doberman Dukie. He used to run sideways and could see ghosts. To this day if I see a Dobie that looks like him I get teary-eyed.

*1995 - a psychotic cat name Nala. She's the demon feline who made me think that cats have the Devil in them.

*1996 - another cat, Jonah. This one was foisted upon me by my roommates and had a horrible snot problem. In the end, my mom and I got stuck with the cat despite the fact that we never even wanted him. My mom got rid of him. I wasn't too mad at her for that one though.

And that is it. I'm done with most pets. Unless I buy a house with a yard, then I'd get a Doberman and name her Pandora. Or Aeryn Sun (I'm a Farscape geek remember?).

BTW, you can build your own lists at listography.com. Just in case you need an excuse to procrastinate too.

I'm back...

2008-04-15T20:37:00.001-07:00

But only for a shameless plug. Please please please sponsor my grueling 2 mile walk on the beach for a great cause. See link below...

http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/YezeniaHernandez

And just to make it worth your while, here are 5 things I've been up to in the past 2 months.

1. Celebrated my 31st birthday in Dallas.
2. Saw the Chicago River in all its green-dyed glory on St. Patrick's Day.
3. Went to Disneyland.
4. Went to my first hockey game. Brrr.
5. Got my teeth cleaned.

Tons of excitement round these parts, no?

Next trip, Brazil! Yep, I'm visiting a friend in the south of Brazil next month. Hoping I get my visa in time. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

I luvs me some KROQ right now

2008-02-08T19:02:00.001-08:00

So the radio station that I've listened to most of my life (but not so much in the last few years because I'm an old spaz and I can't handle the music anymore) is doing a Top 10 with a twist this weekend. They've come up with some great lists and I was sooo digging the ones this afternoon. Songs for losers, 1995 (year I graduated high school), Pearl Jam, 1993, they're doing Green Day right now. I live my life in lists. I categorize and sort and re-sort everything into lists. I have my Top 20 Boyfriends List (celebs I *would*), Top 10 Songs to Jam to in the Shower, Top 5 Places to Visit, etc. A few years ago I participated in a circle journal. One of the girls picked music as her theme. Most people did a layout about their favorite song or band. I couldn't narrow it down that way. I made little file folders with lists such as 5 Songs That Remind Me of Boyfriends, Songs to Crank in the Car, Songs to Dance To, I even threw in Religious Songs. Someday I'll have to open up that file in my old computer and see if anything has changed.

I really dig this format. So check out the lists they have planned this weekend.

KROQ TOP 10 WEEKEND

Listen to KROQ today and all weekend long for your Top 10 songs from just about everything, with one top 10 countdown after another. We've got your top 10...

Songs for losers
Songs of 1995
Old School Punk Songs
Beastie Boys songs
Songs from bands that Kevin from Kevin & Bean broke up
Songs of 2001
Cover songs
Pearl Jam songs
Songs to take with you to rehab
Songs of 1993
KROQ songs in Guitar Hero
Green Day Songs
Songs for the ladies
Songs from movies
Songs from 2005
New School Punk songs
Songs by Sublime
Breakup songs
Songs from the crypt
Songs from 1999
Stoner songs
Rage Against The Machine songs
Songs by OC bands
Songs from 2000
Foo Fighter songs
Songs from chicks who rock
Songs from 1990
Grunge songs
Songs about So Cal
Bob Marley songs
Songs from bands who aren't as good as the original
Songs from 2007
Songs for the color blind
Linkin Park Songs
Songs from one hit wonders
Songs from 1992
Guyliner Songs
Offspring Songs
Most annoyng songs
Songs from 2004
Songs from 1998
Road Rage Songs
Electronica songs
Songs from 1991
Songs from 1996
Acoustic songs
311 songs
Songs of 2003
Ska songs
Smashing Pumpkin songs
Songs of 1994
Songs of 2006
Red Hot Chili Pepper Songs
Teabag Songs
Songs of 1997
Shortest Kroq Songs

Anyone care to post their lists?

My blogging hiatus

2007-12-14T22:31:00.000-08:00

So I've been doing a fair bit of dating lately. Mostly eHarm. I'll say it again, pickins be slim at my age. Most of the guys I've been out with have been shorter than me with my wedges/boots, and we all know how much I love wearing wedges and boots. Now I know it's shallow to be turned off by short guys, but that's just how my body responds. You can't tell your body how to respond to someone. Now a few years ago I would never even have gone out with guys shorter than 5'10" but realizing that aforementioned pickins are not what they used to be, I've relinquished certain criteria.

I'm thinking now, though, that if I don't even want to touch these guys, how the hell will I ever let them impregnate me? There must be some biological imperative for being attracted to tall guys. I believe tall guys appeal to my pragmatic nature. Por ejemplo, my older nephew is 13 and is about 3 inches taller than me. He has suddenly become very useful around the house. Grabbing the pozole container from the top shelf? No prob when he's around. Someday I'd like to have my own pozole-pot-grabber running around. In the meantime, I'll have to use a stepstool.

Anyway, back to the dating. As many of you, my loyal readers (all 4 of you) know, I've got a very packed schedule and free weekends are rare. I had to have 3 dates in one weekend at one point. It would've been very confusing if I hadn't made little cards for each date. Name, age, occupation, interests, all right there in a concise format. Very handy.

Some memorable tidbits from my recent excursions into being social.
-the cutest guy of the whole lot had to be really dumb and a terrible poet, and he believed 9/11 was a conspiracy by the American government, to what end I didn't even want to ask, and he busted out his camera a the movies to take a myspace pic of us...who does that?
-the one I went out with the most happened to be gay but hadn't realized it yet, too bad too because he was cute, and ballsy
-the tallest of the bunch was a little too intense and left a weird voice mail on my cell, like psycho-killer weird

I hate to sound picky and bitchy, but I guess that's really what I am. I just want to meet someone who will actually make me want to shave my legs.

In other news, I went to my coworker's Xmas party last weekend and got completely hammered. Even got emo over karaoke. Hadn't had fun like that in years. And thankfully didn't puke, cry, or have a hang-over.

I also went to KROQ's Almost Acoustic Christmas. Spoon, Feist, Silversun Pickups, The Shins, The Killers, Modest Mouse, Jimmy Eat World, and Muse. Seriously the best line up ever. AND we weren't even the oldest people there. Nice.

Went to a sexual harrassment class, the whole time thinking of a coworker years ago who was a vicious sexual harrasser of my nubile younger self. Then realized it's not sexual harrassment if you like it. That very afternoon after the class, I ran into Sexual Harrasser, who immediately pinched me. Sigh. Now there's a guy I'd shave my legs for.

Also been working out. A lot. But still not losing as much weight as I'd like so after Mexico I'm getting a trainer for my ass.

And last, decided to go to Chicago for a scrapping thing, but the event sounds pretty lame and more expensive so I'm just going to be a tourist with my friends.

I doubt I'll write again before the new year, so hope everyone has a great Christmas and an exciting NYE. ;) I'll be praying the rosary in the freezing cold in the Mexican desert.

Peace out.

PSA

2007-11-11T23:53:00.000-08:00

My favorite patient Shirley posted this on her myspace blog and I thought it was so good I just have to post it here. See why I love this kid?

Why some people have CF - sorry to the normal people
Current mood: optimistic

"Ok, a lot of people ask me why people have CF or how you get CF so I am just going to post this to let everyone know.

Some people are born so cool and awesome in everyway possible that in order to even it out and make it fair for everyone else in the world these people are forced to deal with this disease. It comes from the same gene that makes them all so cool. The gene used to be normal but when the body realizes how special these individuals are and how much they would rule the world and everyone in it, the gene is altered so that these special few don't have such an advantage over the "normal people" of this world. While it is still obvious that these people are so extraordinary they are kept in check by the daily routine of Nebulizers, Physio, Vest Therapy, Pills, and whatever else is required. The average life expectancy at this point is about 30-35 which explains why the age to become President of the United States is 35 and the only reason they made that the minimum age is because if the age was any younger everyone of the U.S. Presidents would of been individuals with CF because everyone admires them so much and realizes they are so much better than anyone else in the world.

Another major reason people have CF is not only cause they are so cool and awesome, but because they are also so hot and sexy. Again since it wasn't fair to the general public that these people be so damn hot and sexy they were given CF which makes them cough up green chunks and other things which aren't usually related to sexiness in order to try and tone down their individual sexiness, however this does not seem to work all that well because everyone knows that those with CF are still the hottest people around.

Ok I hope this answers many of your questions out there, if not then either you will never understand, or you are just jealous and in denial about yourself not being able to be so cool and sexy enough to have CF. I feel sorry for all you "normal people" out there... I just don't know how you deal with it sometimes."

Shooting myself in the foot

2007-10-25T10:44:00.000-07:00

So last night I was at work for a retirement party for one of my coworkers. I had some bulky items for the potluck so I parked in the visitors parking to minimize my walking. The party ended about 9:30, I got in the main elevator with a bunch of people, one of whom was a tall guy. I noticed because most of the visitors were short. Anyway, I had forgotten that I didn't park in the employee parking across the street, so I walked outside (past the tall dude waiting by the visitor parking elevator) and then remembered and walked back into the lobby.

I waited with tall dude and then a family came. Tall dude got into the elevator first without pushing a button, which set off alarms in my head. I pressed my button and the family did also. I pulled out my phone for safety, the family got off on the first stop, so it was just tall dude and me. I stayed in the elevator until he got out and had walked away a bit. Since my car was the first space by the elevator, I was able to get in knowing tall dude was pretty far off, so I felt an attack was unlikely.

I'm pulling out of the space and suddenly there's tall dude at my window talking to me. So now I'm scared because I'd put my phone back in my bag and there was no one down there with us. My car was still moving so I cracked my window an inch and bellowed out, "Can I help you?" He asked if I spoke Spanish and I said I did and asked what he needed (and the words I used in Spanish were kinda rude). He said that he figured he may as well dare to tell me that I was very beautiful and if I was married. I said thank you and he asked if I was visiting a sick child and I replied that I worked there. He got really embarrassed and apologized and walked away.

Now here's the thing of it, turns out tall dude was just my type, tall, thin, dark, and he was kinda cute. And I'm always wondering why things like that don't happen to me, guys approaching me without cheesy "How you doing baby?" lines. But I was so on the defense against getting attacked, I practically barked at this dude, basically shooting myself in the foot.

Then again, I may very well have averted an attack by being so belligerent. I'll never know.

A funny blurb...

2007-10-17T02:58:00.000-07:00

So I posted this on one of my message boards, thought I'd post it here since I've been remiss in my blogging duties. Here's a choice excerpt from a guy's profile on Catholic Singles. I guess it's pretty chicken shit of me to be posting it for giggles, but hey, we all need a good laugh sometimes right?

Grammar and spelling issues aside, it's kinda funny.

What it means to me to be a Catholic and/or my most significant religious experience: It's something spiritual I was grovin up with as a kid & on, I did not have a choice,my parents took me to church in Slovakia after birth& baptize me good people back home,not like here this circus maximus.

About Me: I'm simple& practical positive responsible man European-Slovak nat.origin live&work here pay taxes &etc..Honesty,integrity&loyalty are my character personalyties.Love nature,science&tech.,hiking & travel,oceans beaches,picnics&camping,all kinds of foods fruits&veggies&icecream too.I like to share things,smile,happynes food&simple things havin fun Be romantic&lovin hugs&kisses or just going crazy bananas with some special lady.I work hard&smart always mooving positively optimisticly forward.I do not like Greedy selfish shalowmindet selfobserv poison people who do not give enything back,all they do is take.

What am I looking for: Specialy nice&simple personaly,emoutionaly& mentaly stable&secure,working&independent ,good sence humor withy&inteligents romantic&funlover, cute& sexy solemate Lady to share my life with.

My ideal first date might be: Let's meet in publicly open place like caffe shop or a restaurant not too noizy for a good comunication-talking&observing geting to know each other better.

Hoofing it

2007-08-21T15:14:00.000-07:00

Went hiking yesterday and damn nearly died. Our 3 hour adventure took us up behind the Hollywood sign and back down. At one point, we had views of Hollywood to our left and Burbank to our right. We were straddling two cities.

I am now in some pain, but not as much as I had anticipated due to the 2 Aleve I popped late last night.

It was fun though, but never hike with a 24 year old athlete, you're just asking for trouble. At times I felt like pelting my coworker Trish with the many rocks readily available on the trails. Three of us were dying hiking up the mountain, and there she was doing jumping jacks and literally running circles around us.

Anyway, we bonded and made her hike farther than she's ever gone (at that locale anyway) and she rewarded us by treating us to Gatorade. Nothing too good for us.

My slim-down effort continues...

2007-08-19T01:56:00.001-07:00

Went walking in Griffith Park today. I am now sore everywhere and cursing my wretched body but I'll keep going. Anything to fit into my pants.

And some of my coworkers and I will be hiking in the Hollywood Hills on Monday morning after work. That should be fun.

Cardio

2007-08-17T12:04:00.000-07:00

I actually went to the gym today and God granted me the favor of not letting me die of a heart attack.

Don't know why I stayed away so long.

Giving up...

2007-08-16T15:32:00.001-07:00

on eHarmony. I cancelled the damn thing. It sucks. I got more than 100 matches, none of whom I have anything in common with.

But on prompting from my scrapping friends, I have rejoined Catholic Singles. Too bad I can't really write a decent description of myself. Every time I start, nothing but meanness seems to come out. I'm sabotaging myself. Or maybe I'm just at a point where honesty just seeps out, and I really am a mean, bitter person. Oh and the fact that I just don't seem very Catholic anymore, what with my rants against the Church's leadership, just makes it a bit tricky to make myself out to be the nice Catholic girl anymore.

On a more optimistic note, I've joined some local walking/hiking groups on Meetup in the hopes of getting in shape. Afterall, the 100+ guys on eHarmony asking whether I work out or not is a telling sign that they think I may be fat. And here I'd been hoping I'd dazzle everyone with my big knockers.

Ten Things I Think Make Me a Cool Girlfriend:

2007-07-29T00:26:00.001-07:00

Thinking of posting this on all my future dating profiles. LMK what you think.

1. I love low-brow humor a la Will Ferrell and Steve Carrel movies.
2. I don’t care about anniversaries or Valentine’s Day, at least not in terms of gifts.
3. If I do have a gift coming to me, like a birthday or Christmas gift, you can safely bet that I will make obvious what I specifically want so no guessing is involved.
4. I don’t care if a guy is obsessed with sports, so long as I don’t have to join him.
5. Feel free to have guy time, even if it involves going to an occasional strip joint…lookie lookie no touchy touchy is my motto.
6. I won’t make a guy see a chick flick with me, that’s what mothers and girlfriends are for.
7. I’ll laugh at stupid jokes.
8. I don’t need to see or talk to a guy everyday.
9. If I’m upset, I don’t like to talk about feelings. Just leave me alone for a bit and I’ll get over it, or break up with you.
10. I don’t wear expensive jewelry so a big bag of sour candy scores mega points.

Ugh

2007-06-19T16:03:00.001-07:00

I hate eHarmony.

I really didn't think I was this undesireable.

I should just buy a cat now and get it over with.

I'm avoiding doing work,

2007-05-29T17:05:00.000-07:00

so I stole this from Odie's blog.

10 FAVORITES
Favorite Color: lime green
Favorite Food: French dip sandwiches
Favorite Month: July
Favorite Song: Such Great Heights by The Postal Service
Favorite Movie: Say Anything
Favorite Sport: SC Football
Favorite Season: summer
Favorite Day of the week: Wednesday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Banana at Cold Stone
Favorite Time of Day: 2pm

9 CURRENTS
Current Mood: Lazy
Current Taste: Huh?
Current Clothes: jeans and a tee
Current Desktop: Da Vinci
Current Toenail Color: shimmery nude
Current Time: 4:52pm
Current Surroundings: my living room
Current Thoughts: I've got loads of work to do but I don't want to do it

8 FIRSTS
First Best Friend: Jennifer Lopez (not THAT one) in pre-K
First Kiss: 16 years old, on a park bench with my 1st boyfriend...yuck
First Screen Name: yezeniah
First Pet: guinea pig, Squeeky
First Piercing: my ears when I was an infant
First Crush: Richard Hernandez in Kindergarten...he had curly red hair
First CD: The Byrds (I was a hippie)

7 LASTS
Last Cigarette: I've never had a whole one, just one puff 2x in my life
Last Drink: iced tea
Last Car Ride: from lunch with a friend
Last Kiss: a few months
Last Movie Seen: 28 Weeks Later
Last Phone Call: a rep at Griffith Park about refunding my money because they no longer allow BBQs at the park
Last CD Played: Wicked

6 HAVE YOU EVERS
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Guy/Girl Friends: yes, a GUY
Have You Ever Broken the Law: I'm sure I have, speeding and such
Have You Ever Been Arrested: no, I'm not that interesting
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: no, see above
Have You Ever Been on TV: I don't think so
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: yes and I'm still embarrassed

5 THINGS
Thing You're Wearing: jeans that are too tight at the belly
Thing You've Done Today: went to lunch with Steven
Thing You Can Hear Right Now: birds chirping
Thing You Can't Live Without: The Internet
Thing You Do When You're Bored: The Internet

4 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TODAY
BJ's
my mom's
my apartment
outside to dump the trash
(I really need to get out more)

3 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO
my sister
Yvette
Gracie

2 CHOICES
1. Black or White: Black
2. Hot or Cold: Hot

1 THING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
Fall in love again.

Update

2007-05-28T15:50:00.000-07:00

As if anyone is still reading my boring blah blog, here's a quick update on my life as of late.

I went on my trip to Ireland. BEAUTIFUL. Can't wait to go back. And while the food was not so great (with the exception of a couple of great meals), I was astounded to find that many Irish men have great butts. I'm not a lusty wench, unfortch, but I do appreciate a nice derriere when I see one. And I saw puhlenty in Dublin. I don't know if it's all the potatoes and Guinness, but Irish babies got back.

Made it through another Alumnae Mass/Brunch for my alma mater. Too bad I still have to write the event report and the article for the alum newsletter. Blech, I hate homework.

I raised $1,111 for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation's "Great Strides" walk. Thank you to those of you who sponsored me!

I went to this cool lounge the other night with some friends. Since I wasn't driving, much, and trying to save some pennies, I decided to harken back to my early college days and get drunk on a dime. I bought a couple of single-serving bottles of Ocean Spray cranberry juice, dumped half in the sink and replaced with Absolut. By the time we got to the lounge, I was buzzing something fierce. I am a lightweight drinker compared to the binge drinking I did at SC and immediately following graduation. But it was nice to just relax and chill with friends and not worry about the fact that I can no longer dance to save my life and that I don't have the same pull I used to. Maybe it's the added wrinkles/pounds/contempt for men, but I just don't get the attention I used to.

Which is why I'm trying eHarmony. Yup. After refusing to date for 2 years (my second such hiatus), I'm giving this site a shot. Let me tell you, it's not for speed daters. It's an excruciatingly slow process, from the preliminary personality questionnaire, which made me head for the hills the first time I tried to take it, to the "guided steps" to matches. It holds you by the hand through the whole process, which normally I'm a huge proponent of, but in this case it's really making it boring. No cruising the site. IT matches you, and IT tells you what questions to ask. Though some are really great questions I gotta say. So anyway, wish me luck. I'm really hoping God has a hand in this website because I feel my eggs and nether regions shriveling at an alarming rate.

Bastards

2007-05-28T15:34:00.000-07:00

So for the first time in my life I actually feel like an illegitimate child.

Yesterday my mom, sister, niece and I went to a surprise party for an old friend of my mother's. This lady, whom we call Aunt, happens to be my father's neighbor. My aunt's older daughter invited us, and the younger one invited my dad and his wife. For those who don't know the story, my dad was married and had his wife and kids in Mexico while he lived another life stateside. When his wife got wind of his other life, she brought her family here, to tame her philandering husband I guess. When my mom found out he was married, she told him to honor his commitment and she'd take care of us on her own. My father thought that was laughable, but was quite comfortable leaving us.

Anyway, all these years, my dad lived with his family, never giving a hoot, or a dime, about my sister and me except for an occasional (every 5 years) attempt to talk to us. Lately, due to certain events in his life, his conscience has really been bugging him. My sister is more open and forgiving than me in general, and honestly I tried being more receptive to my dad. But he's just so annoying and smug, and my general mantra being "Life is too short to spend it with people you dislike," I just can't be bothered with him.

So anyway, back to yesterday. My sister and niece got to the restaurant before us and got the stink eye from my father's wife. When they came out to the parking lot and informed us of the situation, my mom said she didn't want to go in. My mom says even a mistress has to know her place and have dignity. So while we were discussing where to go for brunch, my father came out sproting a huge grin, as is his wont. He asked us why we were leaving. When we told him my mom wouldn't be comfortable, he said, "They can put you in a separate room." :FireyMad:

THIS is exactly the shit that infuriates me about my father. He doesn't seem to think anything of cheating on his wife repeatedly, and then flaunting it in her face. He said not to worry about that, "that" meaning his wife. It's just amazing to me that we, the bastard children, have more respect for his wife than he does. I told him as much and that it's always women that bear the brunt of men's mistakes. My sister said when he turned around, he had tears in his eyes. She didn't know what I was saying to him but once I told her she said that all these years he's been wondering why I won't talk to him. Well, now he knows why I keep my mouth shut around him.

AND, he not only has no respect for his wife, or my mom, he also thinks it's ok for US, his children to be shuttled to a back room like 2nd class citizens. Out of sight out of mind. Well fuck that. I've been tolerating his presence lately for my sister's sake. She knew him as daddy, I didn't. To me, he was always just the strange man who'd come around every so often and make my mom nervous.

Sheesh, if I didn't have daddy issues all these years, I will now. Bastard.

Scrappers...check this out...

2007-04-16T08:43:00.000-07:00

My friends Bucket and April are running a Team in Training marathon for the Lymphoma and Leukemia Society in June. Our friend Colleen is hosting a raffle on her blog to help bring in some donations to Bucket and April's fundraising efforts. Click HERE for details.

Lots o' fundraising going on lately.

I'm pretty happy to report that my own fundraising efforts are going well. So far I'm at $796 for the Great Strides Walk benefitting the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. A HUGE thank you to those of you who have donated. It is greatly appreciated!

For those of you who haven't donated, it's not too late! ANY amount at all is a help. Por ejemplo, someone could donate $4 and round out that pesky $6 in the amount above. Click HERE to help end Cystic Fibrosis.

Because you like me...

2007-04-11T23:07:00.000-07:00

You will sponsor my Great Strides walk for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Most of you, my loyal readers, have received or will soon receive my email soliciting your donations for this worthy cause. Please click HERE to go to my fundraising page.

Thank you in advance for your support. You all know what my Sixty Five Roses kids mean to me. ...y

* WARNING * If you're a wee bit too culturally sensitive, do not read this.

2007-04-02T21:30:00.000-07:00

Since my life is so devoid of anything exciting and my brain has shriveled to the size of a pea, I'll post this forward my friend Yvette sent me. Gave me a chuckle, so I'm dedicating this to those who might understand it...Norma, Bucket, Jenn, Odie. You are my homies. ;)

Check your Mexican status...

If you can run and play any sport while wearing chanclas....Mexican status!!

If your late Tio left you a van and you turned it into a taco vending business, Yes, you're a Mexican.

If you pronounce words beginning with the letter "S" byputting an "E" in front of it, (estop instead of stop), big timeMexican.

If you call a chair, a sher, you got it.... Mexican.

If you have ever hurt yourself and your mamacita rubbed thearea while chanting, " Sana, Sana, Colita de rana....." You're Mexican, big time.

If you have your last name in old English lettering anywhere on your car, truck, or tattooed on your back. Yes, you ARE aMexican (proud one too).

If you refer to your wife as your ruca, your hina, yourwifa, your old lady, or your vieja, guess what? Not only are you aMexican, you're a cholo.

If you throw a "Grito" every time you hear Vicente Fernandez, then not only are you a Mexican, but you are a drunk Mexican.

If you have ever been pinched in church and been told "pobrecito de ti si lloras" or "Vas a ver ahorrita que salgamos." Yes,you're definitely a Mexican.

If you grew up scared of La Llorona, or fear the darkbecause of El CuCuy! Yes! Mexican!

Si te persinas with a lotto ticket in your hand before every drawing. You're in the Mexican Zone!!!

If you ask for something by "dame esa chingadera" instead of calling it by its name. Yup! Mexican!

If you constantly refer to cereal as "con fleys" or cake as"kay-ke". You're a Mexican.

If you use manteca instead of vegetable oil and can't figureout why your butt is getting bigger......You might be a Mexican.

If you have some Tias that dress up in their prom dresses to go to a birthday party at "el parque". You are a Mexican.

If most of the houses on your block are painted brightpink, mint green, and lavender. Mexican.

If you're congested and your mamasita rubbed "Bicks".You're Mexican.

IF YOU DON'T NEED ANY EXPLANATIONS FOR ANY OF THE ABOVE,YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE A TRUE MEXICAN. VIVA LA RAZA!!!

You know you're laughing your head off. It's all in fun, so don't get all "adoloridos." Just pass it on so another Mexican can laugh too.

This is what happens when one is bored...

2007-04-02T21:09:00.000-07:00

Got this from my friend Maricar. Like it better than most of those "getting to know you" forwards.

Here are some questions for the people who are a little more mature... (as if these are mature at all...but hey if you're bored...HAVE AT IT!)

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Rent, followed closely by my landline phone bill because I don't even use the phone and can't fathom why I pay $70 a month...rat bastards

2. What's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
I just don't think dinner can be romantic. Then again, I'm not much of a romantic.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Napping on a beach in Greece

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A mom, an archeaologist, interior designer

8. How many colleges did you attend?
One

9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
It's soft and shows off my bodacious tatas

10. GAS PRICES! First thought?
Good thing I don't drive much

11. If you could vacation anywhere and take someone with you, where would you go?
Greece, not sure whom I'd take...anyone who wants to go I suppose

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Motherfucker!! but it was at 3pm

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
I should have gone to sleep earlier

14. Favorite style of underwear?
Boyshorts!

15. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?
Boxers or boxer-briefs

16. What errand/chore do you despise?
Cleaning the fridge

17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
Yes, at my alma mater and a literacy program

18. Get up early or sleep in?
Sleep in

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
Brainy Smurf

20. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with your significant other?
It's been so long since I've had one...but I really liked falling asleep on the couch

21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
I've got a mad crush on a British blogger who is absolute trash

22. When did you first start feeling old?
When I stopped recognizing songs on KROQ and thought they were too loud

23. Favorite 80's movie?
Say Anything

24. Your favorite lunch meat?
Roast beef

25. What do you get every time you go into Costco/Sam's Club?
Batteries and soymilk

26. Beach or lake?
Lake

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at 20?
No, but I do think it's generally taken far too lightly

28. Who do you stalk on MySpace?
No one really, but I stalk aforementioned blogger

29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Banana ice cream with caramel at Cold Stone

30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
Boogie Nights

31. What's your drink?
As of late, water...fortified drink would be Amaretto Sour

32. Who from high school would you like to run into?
Maybe my old buddy William

33. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
Movin 93 or KROQ, I don't recall

34. What is a rumor that someone has spread about you?
No one spreads rumors about me, everyone knows I'm boring. Someone in college once told people I was pregnant. I was probably just bloated.

35. The Cosby Show or the Simpson'?
Cosby Show...I wanted to be a Huxtable (sp?)

36. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
The way I broke up with someone. But I suppose it might have been uglier/more painful any other way.

37. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
I don't sit across from anyone really. There is only one person at work I can't stand, but she usually crawls off into her rat's nest so I don't have to see her much.

38. If you could get away with it, who would you kill?
Child molestors

New pics by Toni

2007-03-27T11:19:00.000-07:00

So I'd been jonesing for a new picture for my blog and to commemorate my latest milestone, joining the Dirty Thirties Club, though I was dirtier as an adolescent than I am now but I digress...

Toni graciously granted my wish. Here I am with short hair and blue bra strap showing.

Yeah, that's how I roll.

Now, A True Spinster

2007-03-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

So the big birthday came and went with no depression on my part. In fact, I had a run of happy days around my birthday. No work for 10 days, went to Disneyland, saw Wicked, got a short haircut, went to the newly renovated Griffith Observatory, had some Thai food, went to a couple meetings (ok that wasn't that much fun), went out with friends, did laundry and cleaned out my closet.

So that list is pretty lame, but I kept myself so busy that I didn't get my usual bout of depression around my birthday, and certainly not the nervous breakdown I thought I might have.

And my awesome friends had planned to send me to Ireland for my birthday, but since I beat them to it they gave me the cash for spending money and a guide to Ireland. Aren't my girls the best?!?

2Peas Blogger Challenge

2007-02-22T04:28:00.000-08:00

Not a very interesting one, but I've got a really light night at work so here it is...

When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up????

I wanted to be different things at different times. An interior designer, a doctor, an archeaologist, a pilot, a teacher. I NEVER wanted to be a nurse when I was little, but one summer volunteering at a pediatric hospital did it for me. I loved the flexibility that nursing offered. And when I was in high school, I'd decided that I wanted a family so I wanted something that would allow me to spend a lot of time with my kids. Ha!

Big News

2007-02-20T16:11:00.000-08:00

So I forgot to post the news that brought on the previous post...as a present to myself for turning 30, I'm going to Ireland! It's always been on my Places I Want to Visit List, at the top actually, so in celebration (yes I'm going to celebrate this) of turning THIRTY, I'm going. I really wanted to try to go it alone, but I can't quite do that yet so my friend Carmen is coming with. Maybe if it were a tour group I'd go alone, but we're planning on driving around (praying the whole way that we don't forget which side of the road to drive on) so I need a buddy for that. So I am super excited and really wish it were May already.

Anyway, I thought it was funny that when I mentioned it on my scrapping board, a couple of the ladies said they were jealous. I replied that travel is one of the perks of being a spinster, to which some replied that I wasn't a spinster...yada yada...

So here's what's funny, I spent the last couple of years somewhat jealous of others' families, being married, being mothers, having real homes, etc. And now I'm not. Sure I have moments when I think I'd still love to win the lottery and be able to afford a house and a kid on my own, but I've become very selfish lately. I really love not having to wake up early, being able to take off for dinner or drinks any time of the day, not having to worry about taking anyone to the ER for stitches or what have you, not having to worry that someone or something will hurt my child. I'm quite a worrier, so it's a good thing I don't have anyone to stress out about otherwise I'd never get any sleep.

Anyway, I know there's a reason why they say the grass is always greener on the other side. I've been there. But now, right now, I'm really digging the not-so-green grass on MY side.

The Spinster

2007-02-20T16:05:00.000-08:00

Something I wrote on my scrapping group's board...just want it in the appropriate place for future reference.

There are a few of us in the world who are trying to reclaim the word "spinster." Watch out, I'm about to drop some info from Wiki...

A spinster is a woman who has never been married, though it is usually applied only to women who are regarded as beyond the normal age for marriage, which has varied between cultures and eras. The word spinster came into common use during the early 19th century when spinning thread provided unmarried women a useful role in the home.

There used to be quite a stigma related to being a spinster, but this has somewhat disappeared in modern Western Civilization along with the establishment of women's rights to vote, own property, and pursue career goals as well as changing social mores regarding nonmarital sexual relationships and advents in birth control. Stereotypes historically perpetuated about spinsters include sexual and emotional frigidity, frumpiness, depression, moral virtue, religious devotion, victim of an oppressive mother and family caretaker.

The notion of the spinster has been adopted by some in the late 20th and early 21st centuries as a positive and even empowering lifestyle choice, one not necessarily linked to romantic or sexual abstinence.

Ok, so I definitely fit some of the stereotypes of the old-fashioned spinster, but that's my choice. And I've had love and oppportunities for marriage, but for certain reasons they didn't work out. I may go through my occasional boo hoos about love and loss, but ultimately I know that if I really wanted to get married, I'd have no problem getting married. But that's not enough for me. I don't settle. Period. I will not have a substandard man, and that's not to say that I'm picky or shallow, I just know what is important to me. Like the saying goes, I don't just want someone I can live with, I want someone I can't live without. And I haven't met that guy yet, and even if I don't, I'm ok with it.

So that's all I'm saying, I'm a spinster (in my culture), and I'm glad. I'd rather be a spinster who's in control of her life than feel trapped by a poor choice. Please don't think that I'm fishing for reassurance that some day my prince will come. I don't want you guys to think I'm feeling sorry for myself (I think I'm over that hump already).

Saturday Laundry

2007-02-10T18:10:00.000-08:00

I am currently composing my manifesto, and due to events of today I will be including something to the effect of:

A spinister may engage in hand to hand combat with a fellow spinster and neighbor over use of the single dryer in the building. However, dreaming about kicking her scrawny ass out of the window will suffice.

Other items up for inclusion in my manifesto are:

A spinster has license to be as eccentric as she sees fit. She has earned the right to be kooky.

A spinster does not have to shave, wax, pluck, dye, or suck in anything not covered by clothing if she doesn't want to.

And for this I'm missing taco night at my sister's. Humph.

Valentines Day is upon us...

2007-02-08T20:34:00.000-08:00

and I suppose this calls for tales of Valentines Days past.

Picture it, Lincoln Heights, 1993. I had just met Boyfriend #1. Back then we didn't have cell phones or myspace, so the way boys told girls (especially at all-girls Catholic schools) they were thinking about them was by sending a Candygram. This is how student government made a chunk of change, selling little cards with candy and then hand-delivering them to the other schools for a dollar. So imagine everyone's surprise in my homeroom when this little mousy girl, yours truly, got a candygram. It was quite the sensation. Every year for the rest of my high school days I had a boyfriend for VDay, so I guess that first Candygram was a good omen. I still have all my Candygrams in a box someplace. Like I said, not my best story, but it's a story.

I've never really been a hopeless romantic. I'd much rather be the recipient of small gestures of caring and consideration every day than once a year cliches. But, I do have a couple of those overdone stories too.

Boyfriend #4 (aka Love of my Life) once lit about 100 tea candles in his apartment with the help of his roommates, who had left us a very nice romantic meal and set a Keith Sweat CD on a loop to set the mood (hey, it was 1997 and these were homeboys). And the card he gave me had a very clever contract in fine print all around the edge binding me to stay with him forever and give him lots of kisses every day for the rest of my life, among other things. Sigh. Still, it'll be one of my deathbed memories.

Then there was Boyfriend #5.5 (forgive my dodgy boyfriend classification system). He once left a bunch of red roses sprinkled on my car before I left for school. And the guy deserves credit because I was in nursing school at the time so I had to leave pretty early in the morning. What was funny was that the gardeners were waiting by my car because they'd seen him bring the flowers and wanted to see my reaction. Very nice guy that one.

And now that VDay is approaching next week, I'm a bit nervous. Candy Man from work told me yesterday that I had to remind him of "something funny" he has to tell me "next Wednesday." Hmm...Maybe this year he'll give me a lump of coal.

My activities of the past 2 months...

2007-01-26T00:47:00.000-08:00

work, sleep, movies, read, scrap, laundry.

And now you know why I've not blogged in months. Boring.

Well, now that I give it some thought, that's not true. One of my best friends gave birth to her gorgeous baby girl and she's the cutest little thing. In my line of work I've seen some really ugly babies, so I have the expertise and authority to deem Miranda a beautiful baby. And it's all thanks to the "Don't Have Ugly Babies" gum that I gave her momma while she was pg. You can all thank me now.

Christmas was nice. Spent it at my sister's with her family like a proper spinster. I spoiled the kids worse than ever this year. But it was so hugely entertaining to watch them rip open their gifts and really be excited about what I'd gotten them. I would hate to give them a crap gift, like socks and underwear, and see them make The Face. I'm sure that Christmas will come eventually, but right now I'm still their cool Tia With the Awesome Gifts. Sure, it's buying their love, but I'd like to think they love me for the non-material stuff too. Things like sticking up for my niece when my sister insists she take Spanish class instead of Choir next year...encouraging my nephew to fess up to things he's messed up because I remember well my sister's wrath from my own childhood...appreciating my younger nephew's finger painting and displaying his art on my fridge. And I know they love me because they get sad everytime I leave their house and they each tell me I can spend the night in their rooms so I don't have to drive home so late. And the middle one always makes me hot chocolate and cookies. And the little dude runs out to my car and gives me a running-jump-hug when I get there. Ahh, they're good kids.

Anyway, what are my latest spinster musings? None really. A few weeks ago I had the idea that I wanted to start dating again. I realized that I missed the cuddling, the laughing, the back rubs, the phone calls. Yup, I was this close to putting myself out there. Then a few people, who'd previously been so hopeful of my "finding someone," encouraged me not to within days of each other. So I thought that was a sign that now isn't the time. And, I think I'm still sulking at the fact that every one of my ex's is now married, even the ugly one. And a sulky me is not an attractive me.

For the first time in my life, someone called me fat, within my hearing anyway. That was disconcerting to say the least. Did I mention that I'd gained 13 lbs in the last year? Not sure how that happened but I was quite astonished when I weighed myself last month. I've been watching what I eat and exercising religiously, and by religiously I mean like twice but it must be working because I've lost 6 lbs already. Not too shabby. Maybe tomorrow I'll work out again.

Oh, and how could I forget to mention that I'll soon reach an important milestone, turing THIRTY. How in God's name did all those years fly by so quickly? In many ways I still feel like I'm 20. Maybe I just WISH that I was 20 again. The things I'd do differently. Ahh, well, spilt milk. Anyway, I don't have any really big plans. I would love to go on an adventure, maybe go to Ireland alone since I've always wanted to go there and I've never been on vacation alone. But truth be told I'm trying to pay bills off and save for a real beach vacation this summer. Haven't been on one of those in a couple of years.

And now I have nothing else to say. Hmm, maybe that's why I'm single.

Thanksgiving of Yesterday

2006-11-23T12:29:00.000-08:00

So 10 years ago when I was dating the wannabe Chicano militant (who now looks like he's a bonafide militant), we went to see my favorite band Ozomatli. Actually, we were there to see Aztlan Underground, and Ozo was still just opening for them on this night, which happened to be the night before Thanksgiving. So the gig was in an old warehouse somewhere near downtown LA and later it got raided by la jura(police). Between sets, an artsy fartsy militant Chicana put on a slide show which was meant to compare the conflict in Chiapas with the actual events of the original Thanksgiving. At the end of a very moving tirade about the devils of government enslaving and murdering indigenous peoples, Artsy Fartsy Chicana screamed into the mic, "You are the indigenous turkey! You are the meat being feasted upon by the oppressor!" She chanted this a few times trying to get the crowd to chant as well, and most of the time this type of crowd would happily follow along. After repeating herself a few times, one big cholo in the crowd yelled back, "Nah! Fuck it! I want TURKEY!!!" After this everyone followed Big Cholo in chanting "Turkey...turkey" and that was the end of Artsy Fartsy Chicana's protest, at least on that night.

So Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! This indigenous turkey is about to start cooking a la Martha Stewart.

Why California ROCKS!

2006-11-19T19:22:00.000-08:00

It's the week of Thanksgiving and it's 90 degrees out.
LOVE IT!!!

Priscilla

2006-11-15T21:59:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, one of my pts passed away. She was one of the sweetest kids I've ever taken care of. Lately I'd started to look at her and feel really sad that she would never be able to do the stuff that other teens would experience. For all the dumb things I did as a kid, I'm thankful that I had the chance to do them even though I cringe at them now. Pris yearned for those experiences, but was too sick to act her age. Maybe now when teenagers are getting on my nerves at the movies or the mall, I'll be able to appreciate their youth and vitality, at least for a while until they really annoy me.

P wrote letters to her friends, sisters, and the nurses before she died. It reminded me of a scrapbook Vanessa Reyes made for her daughter. She and her husband wrote letters to their daughter for certain milestones, first day of school, first boyfriend, wedding day, birth of her child, etc. The letters are meant to be opened only if either or both had passed away. I think it is important to let people know how you feel about them every day (ok, maybe not those you loathe). But sometimes it's difficult to get those really mushy feelings out in person. We should all give it a try sometime.

So this year I'm taking away these two things from the pts I've lost. From Jess, telling people what you like about them as the thought strikes you, and from Priscilla, putting your thoughts into writing before it's too late.

I apologize if I get all mushy whenever someone dies, but this is basically my journal. I'm around more death than the average person and it sort of skews my thinking.

Depression

2006-11-05T01:48:00.000-08:00

I was having a very lovely day today. We threw a baby shower for our friend, first baby of the bunch. I was surrounded by friends, the place was very festive, we were having fun playing Baby Bingo. Here's where my blissful day came to a screeching halt. My friend's mother said she wanted offer me her condolences. Thinking she had me confused with someone else, I gave her a puzzled look. She went on to say that my ex (the last one, who shortly before breaking up with me had been shopping for an engagement ring) had gotten married.

Being the trooper that I am, I put on a cheery face and told her that thankfully I had dodged that bullet. I really thought I was ok. But then I went into the bathroom and almost puked. I tend to become nauseated when I have a surge of strong emotion. That very reaction, in fact, is to blame for why said ex broke up with me. When we had first started dating, we ran into another of my exes, "the love of my life." Same reaction, nausea, and not from disgust. Well P said, 2 years and several discussions about "the future" later, that he could never get the sight of my reaction to another man out of his head. He said he knew that he could never cause such a reaction in me. Obviously he was wrong.

I managed to get through the day and an uncomfortable ride home with my mom without losing it. But once home, the floodgates opened. To add to the misery, I had to come to work at 10pm, where someone promptly asked me what was wrong and why were my eyes so red and puffy. There went the floodgates again.

Just when I thought I was ok with being a spinster, it all goes horribly wrong.

My Halloween

2006-11-01T15:00:00.000-08:00

So this was the first Halloween I dressed up since college. I was supposed to be Elphaba Thropp, but I didn't have time to put on my makeup after sitting in traffic for close to 2 hours to get to my sister's house. Damn 60 fwy.

Anyway, here's my costume. I seriously could not have found a more covered up costume, which is good because fall has finally come to SoCal and last night was a bit nippy.

My quirk has a name...

2006-10-23T23:24:00.000-07:00

Ever since I can remember, I've had the feeling that colors and numbers have personalities. I always thought that in early childhood I had made up stories about my crayons and numbers, and simply carried them with me my whole life. But I just found a name for the way I perceived numbers and colors. Synesthesia. I was Googling Nikola Tesla today and apparently he had a form of synesthesia, which made me read up on that, and then there it was. Evidence that I'm not the only person that sees personalities in things. Some people actually see colors oozing from printed numbers, but I don't have anything nearly as lovely.

Anyway, it just made me wonder how many strange connections occur in the human brain and how different perception can be from one brain to the next. I often look at schizophrenic people and wonder if their disease lets them see things the rest of us can't see. How scary would that be?

Being a spinster doesn't come in handy...

2006-10-20T20:42:00.000-07:00

when one is doing laundry at the Laundromat. I was doing a formidable laundry task, washing all my dirty clothes, scrubs, AND big ass Mexican blankets as I thought winter was on its way. Too bad it was like 90 degrees today. So anyway, I was trying to fold 4 sets of sheets and 3 huge blankets. I could have used old Martha's help because they all turned out really crooked and it was hard keeping them from touching the floor. That got me to thinking about how much easier it'd be if I had a guy to help me fold the laundry. At least the sheets. I suppose I could have asked the homeless man in the next aisle to help out, but I really don't think I could have handled the smell.

In other news, my sister found a picture of my ex (aka the love of my life) on the internet. She knew I had been just a bit melancholy last week over what would have been our 11th anniversary. And that night I went out with a friend, got a bit drunk, heard a song that reminded me of the night we got together, and then cried like a schoolgirl. Seriously, I had had my closure and was over it. But for some reason, that night being what it was (or what it might have been I guess), combined with the drinks, and then the song, I had myself a good cry. It was really embarrassing. But now I'm all good. Seeing that picture, all I could say was grody. It is what it is.

2006-09-11T22:04:00.000-07:00

Laughing babies

These cackling babies crack me up!

Fries

2006-08-18T09:54:00.000-07:00

Where the hell is PETA in a case like this?

The poor pup. I can empathize. I had an equal amount of slobber streaming from my mouth last night at McDonald's. There are certain times when I have such a fierce craving for McD's fries, I can scarcely control myself. Last night I decided to "be good" and get a side salad with my cheeseburger, mostly due to peer pressure as my coworker was next to me. Now ordinarly, I don't place such restrictions on myself unless I don't fit into my pants. Well, my scrubs have been a bit tight recently, so there you go. Side salad.

Too bad I'm sitting here still wanting a few nice and salty fries.

2006-08-14T16:47:00.000-07:00

Pablo Ruiz

Seventeen years ago, I fell completely in love with this Argentinian pop star. Today I pulled out an old videotape, circa 1990-91, and have been watching the DOZENS of performances of his I caught on Spanish TV. I guess this was my first obsession. Gotta love that big nose and the great hair. And those sweet choreographed dance moves. I got to Googling him today and he's pretty much dropped off the face of the planet. So then I thought it'd be nice to get his music on CD, since my old tapes were well-worn 16 years ago, I can only imagine how crappy they'd sound now. Too bad the buttheads on eBay are selling the CDs for $40. Are they nuts?!?

Pablo Ruiz. Sigh. I still love him, even if he is gay.

*ETA* So I got one of the CDs (my fave actually) on eBay for $8. Too bad the shipping is just as much.

I think we're alone now

2006-07-31T13:30:00.000-07:00

Especially after karaoke like this.

RENT, Boobs, and Boba

2006-07-20T01:01:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went to see RENT with my sister, niece, and nephew. It was awesome of course. Got myself another RENT shirt because my o.g. one went missing. No matter, it probably would only have fit my arm. I'm at the heaviest I've ever been, and I gotta say, it seems like I gain weight not only on the thighs, but the boobs as well. I'm sure most would consider that a blessing, but my tatas were already big enough thank you very much, and I don't want to buy new bras. I'm seriously considering going to the gym again. Seriously. I'll let you know how that goes. As long as I fit into my pants, I always say. But I totally digress...

So before the show, we had dinner at Original Thai BBQ. I got my sister and her kids hooked on the joint and it's becoming our pre-Pantages fare of choice. As we were leaving, I told my sister how much fun it is to keep some boba balls in the big ass straw to shoot at passing cars. Probably not the best type of idea to mention in front of kids, but too late, I had said it. I gotta say, those kids don't know how to play pranks. My niece flat out refused to get involved, and my nephew was so inept at picking appropriate targets. My sister had to show him how to do it. FYI, I'm so not in the habit of corrupting minors, but a little boba to a window never hurt anybody. I hope.

A day to recharge...

2006-07-15T22:17:00.000-07:00

So I read somewhere that introverts recharge themselves by being alone while extroverts recharge by being around other people. It's no secret I'm an introvert. Sure I love hanging out with friends, but periodically I need to have days to myself when I can just stay home, do nothing, and give my psyche a bit of a rest. Today was one of those days. I was supposed to go to a crop today, but I was dragging my ass all morning and really just didn't want to go. I was simply not feeling well. It wasn't that I was sick, I just wasn't well, kwim? It was probably a result of my work week.I worked 3 nights in a row, which I haven't done in years and swore to myself I'd never do again. I get super cranky and tired on that 3rd night. And I haven't had much sleep lately. This week started off badly. When I parked my car on Monday night just before going into work, I had to take a moment before getting out of the car. I had a really bad feeling. When I got onto the unit, everyone was crying. One of our patients had just passed away a few minutes before. I knew she was finally resting after many months of being terribly sick with Cystic Fibrosis, but it was still quite sad. We were dragging our asses the whole night. The sadness lingered, but I've been through this enough times to know how to get through it and do my job. Yesterday was the funeral. All I can say right now is that she was a good person, and it was an honor taking care of her. She was a true leader and always said exactly what she wanted to say to everyone. I'm going to try to be more like that, specifically in the way that she told those around her what she liked about them as the thought struck her. She didn't wait for a "right time" to be nice, if that makes any sense. Rest in Peace Jessica.

Jury Duty

2006-07-06T20:52:00.000-07:00

So I finally got my jury duty summons after three years of hoping for one. I'm a freak and actually like serving on a jury, especially in the summer. The reasons are 1) I won't fight in a war so this is my way of serving my country and 2) it's nice to have a normal schedule for a couple of weeks and be able to "do lunch" with people in downtown.

My first day was actually last Wednesday, got called up to a courtroom early in the day along with 100 other people. We were given a very general overview of what the civil case would entail. Since it was a medical malpractice suit, I knew I would be considered an inappropriate juror by both plaintiff and defendant counsel. However, there were also a couple reasons why I would be biased. So being the honest and efficient person that I am, I put those reasons into writing at the end of the questionnaire and was one of the first to hand it in to the clerk. The sheets were then presumably taken to the judge and attorneys to read. I thought I'd be excused that day. Nope, about 40 people were excused before any interviews were done in the jury box.

We were all dismissed about 1pm that day and told to report back Wednesday after the holiday. I was stunned and little dismayed because I knew I would not be allowed to serve on this jury and not being sent back to the jury assembly room the first day meant that there was no way I'd sit on any other jury. Humph. So that afternoon I met another RN who happened to have worked at my hospital many years ago. She and I became buddies and both marveled at how we hadn't been excused.

So Wednesday comes, and we sit through another ENTIRE DAY of jury selection. Finally, today right before lunch I got called up. I gave my little schpiel and asked for a sidebar to explain why I might be biased without influencing the other potential jurors' opinions (it was a pretty big reason, but I stipulated that it would not impair my ability to serve as a juror but out of fairness everyone involved should be aware). Again, I thought I'd be excused immediately. Well that judge must have wanted to see my face again after lunch because he told me to please join them again after the break. So by that point I'd already made plans with some people to have dim sum in Chinatown and told them to wait for me. I had a lovely lunch with some interesting people, and upon returning to the courtroom, said my goodbyes, assuming I'd be excused. Nope. Sat another 3 hours in the jury box, got grilled by the plaintiff attorney, watched 6 jurors be excused (one of whom I sat next to and had a bit of a crush on, more on that later), and just started to think that maybe they saw that I was an intelligent, rational person and as good a juror as they were going to find, when the plaintiff attorney FINALLY thanked and excused me. I don't know what kind of jury he is going to end up with. The judge was already in a sour mood after 3 long days of jury selection, as we all were. When I left, there were only about 15 potential jurors left in the courtroom, 3 of whom I knew did not want to serve and would have lied through their teeth to be excused.

I must say I'm really disappointed by most people called for jury duty. There are some really stupid people in the world. And there are also very lazy ones who will do anything they can, including perjuring themselves, in order to get out of serving their jury duty. Several people said they couldn't understand English, even though they were having decent conversations in the halls, granted with accents, but still able to understand. I think someone actually pretended to be retarded, which nearly made me laugh. There was one woman who burst out crying saying she could never stand to listen to testimony/evidence of harm coming to a fetus, several other people who said they did not have the intellect to separate their logic from their emotions, and one woman who said she did not trust Western medicine at all (but she sure did trust tatoo parlors by the look of her).

Some funny quotes from the experience:
A man commenting on his experience with healthcare professionals in the delivery room while his wife was laboring:
"I felt completely impotent throughout the whole process, except for the conception."

A really dull fellow answering whether he knew anyone who'd given birth:
"Yeah, my mom."

A man on answering whether he never goes to a doctor anymore or distrusts doctors after being told he is too fat:
"Well, I am fat. I know that!"

The dude who was either slow or just pretended to be slow, replying to the judge's instruction to volunteer information that might make him biased:
Dude: "Yes."
Judge: "Alright, please volunteer that information."
Dude: "Yes."
Judge: "Are any of those questions relevant to you."
Dude: "Yes."
Judge: "Which ones?"
Dude: "Yes."
Judge: "You're excused."

Oh, another thing that had us in hysterics was the portly gentleman who kept falling asleep and snoring soooo loudly, that we had to poke him in the back and kick his chair repeatedly to wake him up. He was in the jury box for most of yesterday and today until the judge finally figured out who was snoring and excused him, but made the man drink 2 Red Bulls first. At one point, one of the attorneys asked him if he'd heard all the questions, and snoring guy said he had. Well that was a stinking lie.

And finally, on to the cute guy. Really good looking black guy with gorgeous hazel eyes, single, no kids, firefighter/arson investigator. I think I got him kicked off the panel. He'd been left alone by the attorneys after the first day, yet once he and I started chatting today during the sidebars(I sat next to him and he accidentally drank my water) about both being SC alums and living in the same apartment complex in college, he was excused. WEIRD. They excused a few more people after him before they excused me. I just thought the whole thing was illogical. I would have thought I would have been excused immediately after lunch. And I would have bet money that they'd have been happy with that guy as a juror. Oh well, guess it wasn't meant to be. Too bad we weren't excused at the same time. ;)

2006-06-07T21:39:00.000-07:00

On Memorial Day, my friend's ex (her son's father) died in a motorcycle accident. Today I went to the graveside service to support my friend Marcie. The family decided to have a picnic at a park after the funeral, which I thought was a very nice way to end the day. The whole family was laughing, hugging, reminiscing. Culturally, it was interesting to see a different grieving process. In my culture, we mourn for a year, dressed in black the entire time, and there is A LOT of crying, guilt, and drama. I'm not much for that. I think when I die, I want my friends and family to think about good times with me and hopefully have nice things to say, preferably about me. And everyone should have buffalo wings, Dr. Pepper, and Sour Punch Straws in my honor. Oh, and I want a slideshow, but only with pretty pictures of me. Nothing from the ages of 10 to 14, yuck yuck yuck.

I HATE BLOGGER

2006-06-06T22:07:00.000-07:00

THIS STUPID BLOG IS ALWAYS ON THE FRITZ. IT SUCKS ASS.

And that's all I have to say about that.

2006-05-31T22:31:00.000-07:00

So I just saw United 93. I was a little fearful of the feelings it might elicit, but I actually didn't have a breakdown like I thought I might. Ever since 9/11, I've shied away from anything too emotional that would make me angry. Had the movie Pearl Harbor come out after 9/11, I probably wouldn't have seen it. It's silly I know, but that day, the whole week following it actually, put me off to so many things, sad movies and crocheting, for example. Like most Americans, I was glued to the television for a week following 9/11, crocheting an afghan while crying the whole time. Even at work, I don't know where we got it from, but we pulled in a small tv into the crib (it's the room behind the nurses station), waiting and hoping the search and rescue teams would pull out survivors. Unfortunately, there weren't many.

I think this is actually the first time I've written about this day, and it's been over 4 years. I don't even think I wrote about it in my journal, in fact, I think I've written in my journal about once a year since then. Maybe it put me off to writing in my journal as well. I guess the magnitude of that horror made my petty problems and concerns so miniscule, I just felt silly writing about them when the world was seemingly coming down around us. If it weren't for this blog, my silly little corner of the internet, I wouldn't be writing much at all.

My cousins in Mexico don't seem to understand the fear we Americans have now, just how much we've changed. They think because I'm brown and speak Spanish and yes, I call myself Mexican, the terrorists weren't after me. The fact of the matter is that I am an American citizen, and quite thankful for it in fact. I always thought of my ethnicity and nationality as two separate concepts, and even though I've always been a little too patriotic for what most people think I should be, I guess I never realized just how American I am. I'm not just talking about the material things. In fact, in that regard I'm not that after the American Dream. It's the old-fashioned stuff, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Each and every one of those things is why my mother came to this country, why she worked her ass off. She knew what it was like to have her life determined for her on the day of her birth. The color of her skin, her genitalia, which part of the state she was from, all these things she had no control over determined who she would be had she stayed in Mexico. But I digress...the point is that I am Mexican but I'm also an American.

My sister worked at the World Trade Center in LA for 14 years, and now works in the 2nd tallest skyscraper in downtown. Had the WTC in LA been a target on 9/11, my sister might very well be dead. If what happened in New York and Washington hadn't made me angry, just the thought of what might have happened here in LA just gives me chills. It really could have happened to any of us. It DID really happen to all of us in a way.

Anyway, like I said, no breakdown here. I just wanted to get my thoughts out. And before you go on to Fugly or Pink is the new blog, let's all just say a prayer that everyone on this planet can just stop trying to kill everyone else, no matter how justified we all think we are.

News on the Fake Tooth

2006-05-27T14:14:00.000-07:00

I should be getting it in a couple of weeks. I spent half the day driving around mid-Wilshire and Beverly Hills, from my periodontist to the dental lab, but it's worth it to get my shiny new toof. I'm really hoping I'll be pleased because so far I've had a decent experience.

And just when I began to despair that my time with my adorable bald periodontist was coming to an end, he offered to do my general work as well! He doesn't have to waste his time on my measly fillings and wisdom teeth extractions, especially since that's not his bread and butter, but he's just a cool guy like that. I heart him.

You get what you pay for

2006-05-16T11:28:00.000-07:00

I hate my {free} blog. It's always broken. I finally updated the damn thing yesterday, complete with visual aids, and it's off into oblivion, again.

Aargh.

I've been remiss

2006-05-15T13:29:00.000-07:00

in my blogging duty. I've just been busy doing very boring things like working and planning a brunch. I did have a bit of excitement in April when I went to New York with my family and some friends. We did the usual touristy things like go the Empire State Building, Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty, walked across the Brooklyn Bridge (with my 72 year old mother leading the way!...she's a bad ass), visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and walked from Brooklyn up to Little Italy for a hysterically dismal lunch.

The highlights included walking through Central Park on a beautiful spring day and getting a backstage tour and meeting the stars of Wicked!!! It's no secret I'm obsessed with Wicked. Not like stalk-the-actors-and-memorize-the-minutiae-of-their-lives obsessed, but just good old-fashioned-listen-to-the-CD-almost-every-day obsessed. When we mentioned to Eden Espinosa (who plays Elphaba), that we were from LA, she said she was from LA as well. We were so starstruck (which we normally never are), that we just stood there like a bunch of morons going, "Oh cool." Duh! She could very well have been from our neck of the woods and we just stood there like dumbasses. Oh well, it was a good time and we've have many laughs about it since.

In other news, my niece Gabbie starred as Miss Hannigan and her brother Jacob made his debut as Rooster Hannigan in their school's production of Annie. We were quite proud of them.

And last, here's a picture of Gabbie in the dress I made for her school project on Queen Mary I. Oops, guess it was a bit too long after all.

Oh, almost forgot to mention, I actually went on a date. It wasn't horrible, so I may do it again. Who knows. I may just get lazy and annoyed again, but for now I'll just go along for the ride.

I was such a cute kid...what happened?

2006-03-30T22:43:00.000-08:00

I spent the evening finally helping my mom sort through family photos, many of them damaged by a flooded garage years ago. Here are some of my favorites. There's the famous too-big lime green bikini that I sported in Acapulco. It kept falling off, but hey, at 3 I wasn't too modest anyway.

Then there's the infamous potty picture. Whenever moms of toddlers tell me their pained stories of attempts at potty training, I tell them to just do what my mom did, tie the brats to their potty chairs. Worked for me, I was potty-trained at 12 months. Of course, to this day I can't void unless I have chonies around my ankles, apparently I need to feel some sort of restraint when peeing.

There's the Halloween 1985 picture of me dressed like a nurse (who'd have known). The chubby Asian kid is my little buddy Dominic Lau. I often think if our mothers believed in arranged marriages Dom and I would have been betrothed in preschool. Dom went on to push me in the 2nd grade, causing me to fracture my arm in three places. So I guess I should blame my slightly gimpy arm on him. Anyway, you can't tell from the pic, but the book in my hand is "Go Ask Alice." Obviously, someone wasn't monitoring my reading materials at 8 years old.

And finally one of me at the organ. No story to that one, just love my little pigtails.

I LOVE THIS SHOW

2006-03-23T09:44:00.000-08:00

How I Met Your Mother. I want to date every single one of these guys. Even Barney, the token dickhead with a heart of gold.

Being a spinster comes in handy...

2006-03-18T15:52:00.000-08:00

when your niece needs to make a costume for a school project. I spent the last 3 days at my sister's house making this. Now if I had a family of my own, would I be able to get away with that?

I had planned on going out Friday night, but my plans were thwarted by aforementioned project. My love of anything Irish is well known. But I seem to have a little St. Patrick's Day tradition of my own...making plans for Midori Sours and maybe just a taste of Guinness (yuck), and then getting assed out. Every year something happens that prevents me from following through with my plans. Granted, for the past couple of years I really don't feel like going out to a bar or club. But because it was St. Pat's, I was REALLY looking forward to going out last night. Unfortunately, my sewing skills aren't that great so it's taking me a lot longer to finish this dress than I had anticipated. I had to stay one more night to work on it and since I'm working this weekend and the project is due Tuesday, I really wanted to finish yesterday afternoon and then celebrate at McMurphy's Tavern.

So as disappointed as I was to spend one of my favorite holidays in a sweatshop, my sister was much more upset than I was. Upon being informed that I had to cancel plans with my friends, my sister responded with, "Damn you! You could have met your future husband tonight and I want a niece or nephew!" She had even bought some sparkly green bracelets for me to where out. When she came home, we were no where near being done with the dress at that point and, once she saw how much work was involved, she didn't make me leave.

So now my sister is acting like a biological clock by proxy.

**ETA** My niece got an A on her project. Now that's what I'm talking about!

10 Things Guaranteed to Put Me In A Good Mood

2006-03-09T01:37:00.000-08:00

I can always find something to blog about on 2Peas.

1. Sour Punch Straws
2. hearing a Violent Femmes song on the radio
3. flannel pj's
4. cold Dr. Pepper in a can
5. hearing from old friends
6. sucking on a lime
7. getting hugs & kisses from my sister's kids
8. getting a compliment
9. finding money I'd forgotten about (doesn't happen nearly enough)
10. Vegas baby, you just can't be in a bad mood in Vegas

Painting

2006-03-09T01:26:00.000-08:00

Been busy doing this bit of craziness in my craft closet. Don't worry, it's only one very small wall.

McDreamy

2006-02-22T23:07:00.000-08:00

So I first fell in love with Patrick Dempsey when I was 10 years old and watched "Can't Buy Me Love." I really think he was the template for my taste in men. It's no secret I'm a sucker for goofy, nerdy men with big noses. Since then, anytime I would see him in a movie I'd be the only person in the theater going, "Oh my God! It's Patrick Dempsey!!!" Now that he's such a big name thanks to his McDreamy role on Grey's Anatomy, he's everywhere. And I'm loving every minute of it. To be honest, I HATED Grey's Anatomy when I watched the pilot. The only reason I continued to watch (on mute for a few episodes) was to see my darling lover boy Patrick. But now I'm completely addicted to this show. I'm even seriously contemplating buying a McDreamy shirt. Yeah, I'm a geek.

Here are then and now pics of my darling lover boy. Yeah, he makes me wanna do bad things.

And the letdown...

2006-02-21T04:23:00.000-08:00

So the weekend o' dates never materialized. Homeboy from Seattle called Saturday afternoon to say his friends were having a barbeque (on a drizzly day? yuck) and if I'd like to go. Uh, drive way out of my way to Lawndale (double yuck) to who know's what kind of situation to hang out with a bunch of people I don't know? No thanks.

Then Sunday, what can I say, I bailed on biker dude. I just was never enthused by this poor guy, and then I REALLY wasn't feeling adventurous enough to go on my first motorcycle ride with this cold ass weather. I felt really bad for him, but let's be honest, I felt worse for myself. It's all about me right?

When it rains, it pours...

2006-02-14T21:29:00.000-08:00

I've noticed that when it comes to guys, there will be extended periods of drought when NOTHING comes my way. But every few years (yes years, when I was younger it was every few months, but now gravity and time are leaving their marks), there will suddenly be a convergence of interest at the same time. Today, Valentine's Day 2006, I have had 3 men express interest. THREE.

#1 A guy at the hospital asked me to be his Valentine and gave me a bag of candy. I don't know how I feel about dating someone from work.
#2 Someone I went out with year asked me out for Sunday and just happened to be in my area today. Hmm.
#3 A friend of a friend who will be flying into LA this weekend.

Why can't these things be rationed out? My sister says it helps to keep one from being desperate. Maybe.

I know that none of these will go anywhere. But it is nice to know I'm not yet completely repulsive to all guys.

So as my sister often tells me, a girl's gotta eat.

Hitting a Spinster Milestone

2006-02-09T16:45:00.000-08:00

Today after running some errands, I realized I hadn't eaten in about 20 hours. Remembering that I had nothing to eat at home and standing right in front of Olive Garden, I decided to have a meal at a sit-down restaurant alone. ALONE. I've never done this. Sure, I enjoy spending time alone and running errands by myself, but going into an actual restaurant, sitting down, and eating sans company, that is a first. But I figured, hey, it was only a few years ago that I started going to the movies alone and that turned out to be a great thing, why not try dining alone?

It was immediately obvious that I was a thing to be pitied. Here are some of the choice comments from my excursion.

Greeter outside: "Are you meeting anyone?"
Me: "No."
Greeter [opening the door]: "Oh." (This "oh" was just a beat too long).

Hostess: "One? Is that right?" (Hostess looks genuinely anguished by this)...
Me: "Sure is."
Hostess: "Let's see what we can do for you." (Hostess is very cheery now)...
(A minute later...)
Hostess: "Is a table ok?"
Me: "That's fine."
Hostess: "Oh, let's just get you a booth."

(Upon arriving at booth, Hostess takes away the extra settings)...
Hostess: "Sorry." (The sad emoticon inflected in the comment.)

Server: "I'll get your meal as soon as possible." (Insert another sad emoticon).

Later...

Server: "Are you still ok?" (The day's last sad face.)

Now maybe I was just being sensitive, but I really don't recall quite such comments from restaurant employees. It made me chuckle a bit. I'm really proud that I actually did it, and enjoyed the experience. I could have done without most of the pitying gestures, but like I said, it's a milestone in my spinsterdom. No doubt there will be many occassions when I'll have to dine alone, I'm glad I picked today to test it out. Overall it was quite an enjoyable experience, thanks to the scrapbooking mags I had with me. I was able to plan out some simple layouts for a gift I'll be giving on Saturday.

Now vacationing alone, THAT will be my spinster magnus opus.

My life is monumentally boring...

2006-02-07T22:39:00.000-08:00

and my blog is broken yet again. Fuck this.

10 Everyday Items I Couldn't Live Without

2006-01-21T04:13:00.000-08:00

So fellow Pea and Foxy Michelle posted this challenge on 2Peas like 2 seconds ago, so I promised her I'd put it on my blog.

The 10 Everyday Items I Couldn't Live Without are:
1. my computer
2. Silicone Glove lotion from AVON
3. Labello lip balm
4. my shower radio
5. bras
6. Nitrile gloves
7. nail polish
8. color in any shape or form, i.e. colored pens, SB supplies, clothes
9. warm socks
10. my comb for "ethnic hair," as my hair is quite enthusiastic ;)

And here's another challenge I saw on 2Peas.
What are 5 Things That You Consistently Worry About Each Day?

1. my fake tooth flying out of my mouth
2. my Shooting Butt Pain (aka sciatica) acting up
3. any manner of bug flying into my mouth
4. locking myself out of my apartment
5. Ok, that's it, I just don't worry that much I guess. The things I worry about are kinda lame, but that's a good thing right?

2006-01-18T13:12:00.000-08:00

I got tagged by Bucket a while back, but I'm barely getting around to this. Sorry.

Four movies you would watch over and over again (in no real order):
Say Anything
Dirty Dancing
Singing the Rain
Grease

Four places you have lived:
in LA-Highland Park, Lincoln Heights, South Central, Atwater Village
and El Paso, Texas

Four T.V. shows you love to watch:
Medium
Lost
Gray's Anatomy
How I Met Your Mother (LOVING THIS!)

Four places you have been on vacation:
Cancun
Puerto Vallarta
Italy
Greece

Four web-sites I visit daily:
only FoxyCroppers
but almost daily, TwoPeas

Four of my favorite foods:
Buffalo Wings
French Dips
Picadillo (a type of soup)
anything with lime

Four places I’d rather be right now:
at the movies
on a beach in Cancun
in New York watching Wicked
in new York watching Martha Stewart live

Back from Mexico

2006-01-12T15:19:00.000-08:00

So I'm back from Zacatecas. I took about 400 pictures, not very good ones I'm afraid. But here is the absolute worst picture I've ever taken, and of course, it's of someone I really dig. "Vampiro" from Jaguares, whose butt inspires lust in my otherwise pure soul, was on my flight from Mexico City! He walked passed me while getting to his seat, but slowly enough for me to think, "Damn, that scruffy guy is cute." Then I thought he looked familiar, but upon glancing at his backside I immediately recognized him. Jaguares are playing at the Anaheim HOB this weekend and somehow I missed knowing about it. Damn. Oh well, I have to work anyway. So homeboy was just sitting on the bench at LAX waiting for his ride when I took this picture. I'd have had a perfect shot of him at customs but didn't want to risk undue attention to myself (had some contraband in my luggage, nothing crazy though). So anyway, that trip ended on an exciting note.

So I came back home and found out my college roommate Katie is now a mother! Her little guy Will looks absolutely adorable. I made him a little present so hopefully I'll get to send that out tomorrow.

I'm really lazy right now and I have to go to work tonight, so I'll add a couple of pictures from my trip tomorrow.

2005-12-21T04:03:00.000-08:00

This was on fellow Foxy Erin's blog. Yeah, I'm swiping it.

This is me - A to Z

A-Age: 28
B-Bed size: Full
C-Chore you hate: Taking out the trash
D-Dessert you love: Warm apple cobbler w/ ice cream
E-Essential start your day item: Shower
F-Favorite actor(s): Tom Hanks
G-Gold or Silver: Prefer silver but I only ever wear a gold crucifix
H-Height: 5'4"
I-Instruments you play: the recorder, but only one song
J-Job title: Clinical Nurse II
K-Kids: NONE
L-Living arrangements: Just me in my slum
M-Mom's name: Herminia (Mina, Mama Medina)
N-Name something you love to do: Sing at the top of my lungs in my car
O-Overnight hospital stay other than birth: None
P-Phobia: Worms
Q-Quote you like: Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of my own mind.
R-Right or left handed: Right
S-Siblings: Sister (35 yrs)
T-Time you woke up today: 9am (NOT like me at all!)
U-Unique habit: I put things in order at stores (obsessive compulsive trait)
V-Vegetable you hate: bell peppers
W-Worst habit: Procrastination
X-X-rays you've had: right arm, right foot, left hand, teeth, thorax
Y-Yummy food you can make: Turkey
Z- Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Another Crafty Day

2005-12-11T17:02:00.000-08:00

Made this altered canvas wall hanging at a class taught by fellow Foxy Cropper Lisa Spiegel. Just love how it turned out. The Basic Grey paper I chose is a little crazy, but the black and white picture I'll use will tone it down a bit. One of the ladies in the class said she'd love to see the picture for it (she must have thought it would be kinky). It'll be a prim and proper picture of us at my friend's wedding this summer.

Last night we had our 12th Annual Groupie Christmas Get Together. We've been doing this since Senior year in high school. Last night those punk asses pulled a mean trick on me. I'd worked Friday night and hadn't slept at all on Saturday, so I fell asleep while watching Elf. Gracie woke me up to tell me that everyone had opened their gifts and had gone home while I slept. Being the gullible oaf that I am, I totally fell for it and was so disappointed that I'd missed all the presents. While I was trying to wrap my mind around their having left, they were busting up in the kitchen. Meanies.

So I got my present after all. Nga got me some comfy pajama bottoms and stinky soaps for my bathroom. It was awesome to get what I needed, but I like the fun of doing the gift exchange White Elephant style. This year I wasn't the only sleepy one there, so we didn't get as imaginative with our pictures as last year, but had a nice time just the same.

Feeling crafty...

2005-12-03T17:12:00.000-08:00

and frustrated that I lost my post. And that my pics didn't go where I wanted them. Aargh.

Anyway, I've been in a crocheting frenzy this week thanks to inspiration from joining the Atwater Village Stitch n' Bitch a couple of weeks ago. I have enough expensive hobbies, I don't think knitting will join them anytime soon. For now crocheting (the tackier of the two) is enough for me. Here are the scarves I made this week.

Today I went downtown with Bucket and Crystle to shop for fabric and ribbon and bacon-wrapped hot dogs. Yum. Anyway, I'm thinking of making tote bags a la Bungalow 360. Really digging the Michael Miller and Alexander Henry fabrics. We searched high and low for Amy Butler fabric but had no luck. Here are my fabric finds. Somewhere in my craft closet I have a pile of cute flannel I'd earmarked for pajama bottoms, but thinking of all the stuff I have to get done before the holidays, I may just put that off for next year.

My mojado...

2005-11-27T22:45:00.000-08:00

So Katie, you asked who my mojado would be. Here he is. Papacito!

I'll never say that out loud, swear.

2005-11-21T12:28:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Bucket and I made these aprons and they only took us 5 hours! It goes without saying that neither one of us is an expert seamstress, but I think we did well. Now that we know what we're doing, it'll go much faster next time. We're both really happy with our little aprons and can't wait to make more. I actually picked the same fabric that Bucket made hers out of, but I was feeling "stripey" yesterday. I have those two fabrics and another lime green and pink paisley fabric, so I'll have an array of aprons to choose from to match my clothes when I work at home or go to a crop. Now if I can only figure out a way to insert a picture. Let me try. Ok, apparently I squished in my post between 2 pictures but that's ok. I'll do it better next time. ;)

Don't you hate it when...

2005-11-16T23:07:00.000-08:00

you go to sleep drunk and you're still drunk when you wake up? It's the worst feeling in the world, well almost as bad as say, I don't know, puking into a trash can outside your apartment and getting it on your hair, jeans, and glasses.

That was my fun Tuesday night. My friend Adrian and I finally went to see Liz Phair and I made the mistake of adding rum to my usual drinking regimen with disastrous results. I haven't had a binge like that for 5 years. And I wil NEVER EVER do it again. I'm serious.

So the show was great. I fell in love with Liz all over again. And she finished off with one of my all time favorite songs, Fuck and Run. When I was 17 I didn't want that to be my anthem. I think I overdid it with my conservative choices, yet oddly enough some of those lyrics still ring true. Liz Phair and I are at opposite extremes of the spectrum, but I can still appreciate her perspective. I wonder if she'd be able to reciprocate.

Say Anything baby...

2005-11-16T12:26:00.000-08:00

To know Lloyd Dobbler is to love him. Diane Court is about to know Lloyd Dobbler.

Your Life is Like

Say Anything...

What John Cusack movie are you?

I'm a 70 year old lady at heart

2005-11-07T12:09:00.000-08:00

So check out the goings on of my last 10 days. I was a hermit for a couple of days last weekend (see post below). Then I went to my sister's house a couple of days, to see the kids in their Halloween costumes, and Wednesday to pick them up from school and make dinner. The little one was sick on Monday and decided to sneeze directly on my face. I knew instantaneously I'd be sick in a couple of days. Sure enough, Wednesday my throat started to hurt, Thursday and Friday I had to call in sick to work, and Saturday and Sunday went to my Photoshop class (I'm going to miss it) very groggy and sniffly. After class on Saturday I came directly home and played around with Photoshop for a while. No partying for me, nope, it was all about blowing my nose and rubbing Vicks Vaporub on my chest.

Then at some point the last few days I joined a Stitch n' Bitch group, actually 2, one for metro LA and one for Atwater Village. I took crocheting classes a few years ago, made a couple of unintentionally trapezoidal afghans, and then got a boyfriend and to hell with the crocheting. Well, I'd been meaning to take it up again the last couple of years, make myself a proper spinster. I'm really looking forward to going to the meetings, ESPECIALLY since the AV group meets within a 2 minutes walk from my house. I always have to drive to the Valley or Santa Clarita for craft-related events. This will be a really nice way to get to know people in my neighborhood.

Next item. I went to the Vicente Fernandez concert last night, with my mom and aunt, both of whom are in their 70's. Of course if you mix Chente, 6000 Mexicans, and beer everyone is bound to get shit-faced. Everyone but me. No, I was still blowing my effing nose!!! Seriously, that venue blasts the AC, and last night all of it apparently was directed at my chest. I may be buxom, but I found myself thinking, "I'm going to catch my death in here." WTF?!?

All of the above is a testament to the fact that I'm a little old lady sans wrinkles.

Being at that concert and seeing all those masculine men (as opposed to the pansies that are endemic to the US) made me seriously rethink the possiblity of getting myself a mail-order husband. I've heard of women (allegedly) getting paid to marry some poor mojado and then staying together. That would make a great movie. Oh wait, it's already been done. I think it was called Green Card. Of course in that movie since it was Gerard Depardieu (sp?) and Andie McDowell, it was cute. If such a story involved an American woman and a Mexican man you know all the bigots in the border states would blow a gasket.

Anyway, I was watching some of the couples dance and, as always, it made me wish I had learned to dance like that when I was young. I know it's considered chuntis (tacky), but I love how it looks. I've only danced like that once and that was last year in Mexico. Hopefully I'll have the chance to do it again when I go to Zacatecas in December for my cousin's wedding.

On a sidenote, my dumb ass finally figured out how to link within my comments. DOH!

I broke my blog

2005-10-29T20:24:00.000-07:00

I don't know what the hell I did, but it's all wonky, I'm missing a couple of posts, not that they were all that fascinating, but just having them disappear into oblivion bothers me to no end. I LOATHE losing things, even if they aren't real.

So it's Saturday night, and I'm feeling keenly pathetic. I slept all day after working 3 weeks without more than one night off in a row. I woke up, showered, looked kinda cute if I do say so myself, and did NOTHING. Well, I took my mom to Borders because she's on the hunt for a stupid book about some kind of bull dog for her friend. Apparently it doesn't exist. I frankly am not that motivated to help her in her search. But I digress...

While my friends Luz and Monica are off dancing tonight, I'm sitting here at 8:40pm seriously contemplating going back to bed. I've got terrible cramps and am really bitchy. Why unleash my ferocity, short-lived as it may be, upon the world tonight when I can just stay home and feel my ass grow wider? I hate feeling this way and I know it's because it's the 1st day of my curse, but after 14 years I know I have to isolate myself today. It was due to people like me that women were banished to the outskirts of their villages during their menses. Why oh why does it have to be a Saturday night?

Really, I don't ever do typical Saturday night things. I used to love going dancing, and while I still like to dance, I hate having to prep and pay for it. Getting ready, blowing out the hair or shampooing it in mousse, applying makeup, donning the hoochie garb and shoes, paying for drinks (I don't like letting guys buy me drinks because they always expect something), dying in aforementioned hoochie shoes, getting all sweaty and not having any room to actually dance...all of it is at this point in my life supremely annoying. Not so when I was a teenager and in college, even a couple of years after college I still partook of the partying. Now I'd much rather go to dinner, see a movie, watch a concert (one without teenagers as they annoy me to tears now as well), or read a book.
When did I turn into such a boring homebody?

"So if you care to find me...

2005-10-22T08:38:00.000-07:00

look to the {Eastern} sky"...because I'll be in New York! Well, not until April but still. My sister and I had been planning a trip to New York to see Wicked with my niece. She was really bummed that the tour moved on to San Francisco without her being able to see it. Last night I bought the tickets for April 11th. So now to book flights and accomodations, but as long as we have great seats to Wicked, I don't care where we end up staying. I guess it would have been easier to just go to San Francisco to see it, but we've been wanting to go to NYC again and since Gabbie is turning into such a theatre geek, we figured we'd make a whole trip of it. And we're taking my mom since she's never been. My friend Raquel has also signed on. I wonder what adventures we'll have this time.

So RENT is coming out soon, day before Thanksgiving I believe. Gabbie and I fully intend to watch it the first night. We'll be Rentheads, even though she's only interested in Idina Menzel at this point.

Ghost Sites

2005-10-19T18:18:00.000-07:00

I found a most interesting website, a collection of final screen shots dating as far back as 1998(truly historic times). I've been perusing its list of defunct websites, most owing their demise to the dotcom bust.
http://www.disobey.com/ghostsites/mef.shtml

Here's a funny one.
http://www.disobey.com/ghostsites/show_exhibit/brainimplants

And this one is strange. I guess at one point the pedophile-and-skank infested myspace.com was shut down.
http://www.disobey.com/ghostsites/show_exhibit/myspace

This one was really interesting. http://www.disobey.com/ghostsites/on_top_of_the_world.shtml

Why is it...

2005-10-08T21:08:00.000-07:00

that in any given class there is always The Annoying Guy? Seriously. Usually the profile is the middle-aged, probably divorced, know-it-all guy who erroneously thinks asking tons of questions makes him look inquisitive when it really exposes his ineptitude. I'm taking a Photoshop class, today being the first of 4 weekend classes. This asswipe showed up 20 minutes late, making all kinds of ruckus, proceeded to ask about 7 questions that, if he'd been there on time, would have known the answers to. For the remainder of the 3 hours he proceeded to ask stupid questions, not pay attention, get ahead of himself, and hog up the instructor's time by screwing up. Then when class was done (20 minutes late thanks to Mr. Asswipe's questions), he had the gall to ask if he could stay through the lunch hour to practice. I felt like applauding when the instructor told him half the lunch hour was gone already and he didn't feel like staying cooped in the same room all day. The lady next to me told Annoying Guy to let the guy eat in peace. Ah, good times. I hope he gets the point and doesn't pull the same shit tomorrow.

So I took my mom to see "In Her Shoes" with Cameron Diaz, Toni Collette, and Shirley Maclaine. To be honest, I hadn't really wanted to see that particular film (most chick flicks are wait-for-the-DVD fare). But there wasn't much else to see that I thought my mom would enjoy, and she's a sucker for anything with mostly female casts. Well that damn movie was really good! Plus, I was drooling over Mark Feuerstein the whole time. I really dug him on "Wake Up, Miami" a few years ago. Ok, I don't know how the hell to insert a picture here. I'm retarded. Anyway, I think the guy is smoking. He's on my Top 20.

After the movie, we hit Barnes & Noble. I started Christmas shopping for my niece, picked up a Photoshop book which turned out to be the wrong version (oops), and got the Joel Osteen book I've picked up about 17 times. He's on my top 20 too, which is really bad because the guy is a married minister, and I ought not to covet my neighbor's husband. Whatever, it's not like I have any hope of seducing the man, so it's not so much coveting right? Besides, like I say, lust is not a sin I struggle with. Unfortunately.

Ellen Degeneres

2005-10-05T00:18:00.000-07:00

Today I went with my friend Marcie and her bf Errol to the Ellen Degeneres show. Guests were David Duchovny (still sexy), Constance Marie, and Liz Phair! What a coincidence! Apparently I was the only person there who was a fan of hers. I'll be seeing her at the HOB next month, looking forward to that. Then they taped a segment for a future show with Charlize Theron. She is the most beautiful woman alive. Absolutely stunning. So I heard Lindsay Lohan was in a car wreck today. I used to have a crush on her but now that she looks like Paris Hilton I find her repulsive. For some reason my enter bar is not functioning so this will be an inappropriately long paragraph. I finally watched the last episodes of "Freaks and Geeks." I'm so bummed this show was so short lived. It was a FANTASTIC show! Now I'm on to the 2nd season of Degrassi Jr. High. Gotta love Netflix!

Son of a Witch

2005-10-01T18:40:00.000-07:00

Son of a Witch, the sequel to Wicked, is out! Gregory Maguire will be at Vroman's Bookstore in Pasadena on Tuesday October 18th and I fully intend on ditching work to be there! That's all for my blogging today. I just worked a 20 hour shift and I don't much feel like thinking.

http://www.gregorymaguire.com/books/sonofawitch.html

21st Century Spinster

2005-09-22T00:18:00.000-07:00

Apparently I don't have one original bone in my body. Someone beat me to my own blog by a couple years. Too bad this admirable spinster vanished into oblivion. I only just found her site and I already miss her. Sniff sniff.

Anyway, if I were a stereotypical feminist, I would be her in about 8 years. But seeing as how I'm of the Catholic-Dr. Laura listening-non male bashing-gender role supporting variety, maybe I'm original after all. Or maybe I'm just a nun without the habit. And without the holiness.

21st Century Spinster

Dental Woes Continued

2005-09-21T17:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm not "woeing" quite as much, but still quite worried if a dental implant will be the best thing for me. I went back to the periodontist for an implant consultation. I must say, kinda have a crush on the man. He's an older guy with quite the bald head, but his pleasant demeanor and exotic accent just make him sexy. Plus, he's the type of man that looks at a woman like a woman, not a piece of meat nor an inanimate object. Anyway, he's better than my dentist, that's for damn sure.

So anyway, he brought me his laptop to show me examples of the work he's done with implants. His temporaries look a lot better than any of my permanent crowns. Looks like his lab does decent work as well.

I'll think it over some more, but I think this may be the route to take. It'll be a GRIP, $3500 out of pocket, but thank God I'm taking out about that much for my healthcare reimbursement account.

So now, off to the movies I go!

Boredom

2005-09-20T15:41:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since my last post. The only exciting thing to have happened was that I went to see Jaguares at the Pantages last week with my friend Carmen. It was awesome! Our seats were in the orchestra pit in the second row of chairs, so Saul was practically sweating on us. It was better than being at the House of Blues because we were able to sit and it was nice and cool in there. After the concert, Carmen and I signed up for Amnesty International and got free tshirts with the Jaguares logo and a message about stopping the violence against women in Juarez.

Saturday is a Groupie outing day for Luz and Wacky. And next week are my mom's and sister's bdays. I need to go shopping!!

Dental Woes

2005-09-08T12:25:00.000-07:00

(Excerpt from a Foxy Croppers post, therefore redundant to the Foxies)

So clumsy me fell straight onto my face when I was 10 years old and ruined one of my front teeth. I've obviously never had the best of dental care, and no one seemed to notice that my tooth was all effed up until 6 years ago when I started going back regularly. When it came to fixing my damaged front tooth, the dentist and I had a little misunderstanding and he ended up filing my tooth down and putting a series of hideous crowns on it.

So fastforward to this year, the fake tooth is loose and needs to be replaced. I've spent the whole summer going from one dentist to a specialist (and back again )who don't seem to communicate with each other and certainly not with me. After being told by the specialist that my tooth and gum were fine, all I needed was a new better quality crown without plastics in it because of my latex allergy (supposedly that's what was causing my gum to be so irritated), I went back to my regular dentist today to put a temporary crown. Well now apparently the tooth is in terrible shape. Mind you, this is THE FIRST TIME the dentist has looked me in the eye and actually spoken to me. Usually he's in such a rush that he comes to do his business and goes onto the next pt without ever asking me how I'm doing.

Anyway, today I guess he finally noticed how nervous I was and teary eyed, so he took the time to tell me that my tooth is basically shot to hell and explained my options.

1. Proceed with a crown lenghthening in an attempt to save my tooth (which the dentist seems to feel might be a waste of money and energy)

2. Get a bridge where they'd have to crown the adjacent teeth (I'm not liking the thought of MORE crowns after all the crappy ones I've had so far)

3. Pull the tooth out and get an implant

I wonder if it's possible to get an implant and the get veneers on the adjacent teeth instead of crowns?

I won't be smiling much for the next few weeks. This temporary crown is the worst I've ever had! The others were way too big, this one is sooo small! It feels like a nub. Yuck.

I should have tried out for The Swan. The free dental work would have been worth the humiliation of sobbing my fool head off about my poor self-esteem. Actually, I've been hearing this a lot as of late, and I must say, I do struggle with certain issues, but as a whole I have pretty darn good self-esteem. I may be self-conscious about certain things (my snaggly toof), but I think I'm alright.

So back to being thankful, that always helps me when I throw myself a pity party. I should be happy that I have any teeth at all. I once had a pt, bike vs pole and the pole won. This kid knocked all this front teeth out, not just a couple, HIS ENTIRE SMILE WAS GONE! How miserable would that be?

Almost feeling better. Of course it helps that I've decided to sequester myself in my apartment. I don't want any contact with anyone and am seriously considering using my plethora of sick time next week. I'm helping out a fellow Foxy Cropper Ginger at the Memories Expo tomorrow. Darn! I forgot 3 of my coworkers are going. Shite. The jig is up. I have to go to work next week.

I'm hungry but I don't know what I can eat. I guess I'll subsist purely on bananas and Lucky Charms for a few weeks for fear of dropping this temp crown. Visions of biting into an In n' Out burger and having my tooth get stuck in it...sigh.

Gratitude

2005-09-05T23:15:00.000-07:00

I am just numb after seeing so many images of destruction and despair from Louisiana. I can't even begin to imagine the despair the residents of New Orleans must be feeling now.

I thought I'd do an exercise in gratitude by counting my blessings.

- Family: It may not be the typical Mexican family, but it works for us. For so long my family consisted of my mom, my sister, and me. But now I'm fortunate to include my niece, my 2 nephews, my brother-in-law (whom I used to despise but now he's like my own brother), fictive kin (my BIL's friend and his family), my tia (we're still not clear on how we're related, but we are)...and I'm thankful that I was able to get to know extended family in Mexico (again, not sure how we're related anymore) this past December.

- Friends: Of course there's The Groupie...lately I've been very sappy about how much they mean to me. Today I was cleaning up my old computer's files when I ran across a 409 page document comprised of old emails from the Groupie from 1995 to 1999. I need to get those printed out and put in a book. It's too bad I didn't save many emails from 1999 to 2003. It's a good thing our Yahoo site archives all the email since we first started using it 2 years ago. Anyway, I'm blessed with enduring friendships from high school, as well as more recent ones. My friend Maricar and I still keep in contact after working together at CHLA and going through the Internship Program. She left in 2001, but we still KIT. Another friend, Yojana, and I met in 1997 at LACC in a microbio class. She dropped the class and soon moved to Texas, but we've managed to keep in touch (mostly due to her efforts) and I even went to her wedding a couple of years ago.

While I'm on the subject, I might as well mention that there are 3 friendships that meant a lot to me that I've managed to lose. Katie, my freshman year roommate, and I became good friends. I went to her wedding too, but now she's MIA. I really miss her, but I hope whatever she's up to now brings her much happiness. Robert and I met at the USC Catholic Center in 1996. We were good buds and many mistook us for siblings (must have been the nose). I tried to go to his wedding, but lacking an actual invitation and apparently misunderstanding (I hope that's what it was) the time of the ceremony, that friendship fell by the wayside. And then Joe Mama. I don't know how or why, but I offended him in some terrible way that he never spoke to me again. It's a running gag now, whenever I see him at work I ask him if he's still mad at me. He just smiles and laughs it off, but doens't say anything. Maybe one of these days he'll forget he's angry at me and he'll just start shooting the shit.

So that last part was random, but I figured if I was talking about friendships I might as well discuss that. Anyway, I can tie it back into the whole gratitude thing by reminding myself of how lucky I was to have had those friendships, limited as they were. They served their purpose at the time I suppose, so for that I should be grateful.

- Work: OK, I may just be getting old and or malnourished, but work has been really tiring lately. The work itself isn't any different, just my reaction to it I suppose. I'm just fatigued. But, I'm VERY lucky to have a job I love and that provides me with the means to do the things I like to do. It's far better to have too much work than none at all. Now if we could just manager to pull off a decent Holiday Party sans bowling alley, that would be sweet.

- Love: Of course I have love in my life, but as the title of my blog insinuates, none of this love is of the Cupid kind. So why should I even bother being grateful for this? Good question. I've realized in the last few months that while the 2 major relationships of my life ended badly, they were quite lovely while they lasted and will always provide me with warm fuzzy memories, downright hysterical moments, and invaluable lessons. My mother still prays that someone will come into my life who will "honor and respect me as a human being and not as paycheck" (exactly how much money does my mom think I make that some schmuck would consider it a privilege to part me from it?!?). My prayers for that are over, but I do thank God I had the chance to have the love of good men for at least a while. Ooh, that last sentence sounds almost hedonistic. I'm running with it, after all, I'm establishing myself as a 21st Century Spinster. I really should trademark that.

So those are just a few of my blessings.

The Reunion is over!

2005-08-28T23:09:00.000-07:00

I had a blast! Things went smoothly for the most part, and it was great seeing so many faces from the past! (That was not my attempt at a poem). I think everyone had a great time, especially my girls, The Groupie! We can seriously have fun in a cardboard box. I am blessed with wonderful and enduring friendships. I really feel like these girls are my sisters. I thank God everyday for having placed us in one another's paths. They've been here for me for so long, since I was 14 and one since 2nd grade! I don't know what I'd do without them. Here are some pictures. http://www.flickr.com/photos/68357054@N00/sets/840976/

Staying up late gets you nowhere...

2005-08-18T03:03:00.000-07:00

It's 3am and I'm still up, and it's not even because I'm at work. My friends Craig and Yvette just left my apt after working on the reunion video for 7 hours...yup that's right, 7 hours in addition to the 7 from last week. We had a couple of set backs, so had to do some damage control. We'll continue to work on it next week.

I haven't slept since Tuesday 5pm (4 hours) so I'm a bit sleepy-stupid (one step beyond my usual sleepy-drunk), but I just checkeed out CryingWhileEating.com and giggled for a good bit. It's a really weird and utterly useless wate of time, but it's quite amusing if that's your thing.

Anyway, so that's what's on my mind on a Thursday morning at 3am. Night!

FRUSTRATION ! ! !

2005-08-14T23:02:00.000-07:00

I CANNOT wait until planning and preparing for this reunion is over. And that's really sad.

On a happier note, I went to my friend Gracie's wedding present-opening party at her brother's house. It was nice, I took pictures of each gift and the happy couple as usual. Already Snapfished them off. I'd love to include pix here but I don't know how to do it!

I'd like to document a moment of compassion and empathy. Gracie's mother mentioned that my friend Chuchi and I would be next to marry (not to each other FYI). I used my standard "Ya me quede" which means basically I'm an old-maid. She laughed it off and said that God would see about that. But the moment of empathy to which I refer was something that Gracie's SIL said to me. She said that she was 38 when she married and to look at her daughter, whom she'd had at 40. I just thought it was very kind of her to share that with me. I wonder if she went through the same types of feelings I've been having about the whole issue. The quiet way she said it made me think she had.

I recently asked my mom if she felt a bit hopeless about marriage/family when she was my age and still single (that's got a soap opera story to it, but I'll leave that for another entry). She said she never felt like she should worry about it, she was too busy working and taking care of her brother's multitude of kids. This is useful information. A few months ago I had a bit of an epiphany about how grateful I ought to be for what I do have. Granted, I'd love to be in a loving relationship with an awesome man, but I should appreciate the fact that I'm single and really quite free of stressors (sans aforementioned Queen B). I can come and go as I please, don't have bratty kids clingy to me since I get to give them back to their parents ;), therefore I should enjoy my singledom and have fun with it. So that's what I mean to do. I'm taking fun classes (A Day to Create with Tena Sprenger and Carol Wingert is always a happy occiasion), enjoying my friendships, and playing with my sister's offspring. Maybe at some point this won't be enough for me, but for now it's pretty darn great. Who knows, maybe I am meant for something non-family life related and it just hasn't been revealed to me yet. And maybe there's nothing bigger and better out there for me, but I intend to be as happy as I can be. And if that makes me boring so be it!

Goings on of my weekend

2005-08-09T04:04:00.000-07:00

OK, now that Gracie's wedding is over, I can laugh whole-heartedly about the disasters that were the bridesmaids' dresses. Beside the fact that a few fit horribly or not at all, my skirt was altogether wrong. And too bad I didn't notice until the week before the wedding when I was about to have it hemmed! "It just needs to be hemmed" I erroneously informed the seamstress who was working on a few of our dresses. She was the one who noticed it was different than all the other's. Duh. That would explain the extra fabric I noticed when I picked it up at Alfred Angelo's. That place SUCKS. Their customer service is atrocious. No wonder they got a D- in Bridal Bargains.

Anyway, I scrambled around the garment district the week before the wedding looking for a suitable chiffon with which to make a new skirt. I ended up buying three different shades of red to be on the safe side. Dau, the seamstress, made me a whole new skirt (twice!) and I must say she did a great job. Disaster was averted several times around thanks to her.

The wedding was so much stinking fun. A good time was had by all. We managed to pull off another Senior sweater picture thanks to Chuchi. I'll figure out how to post pictures on here eventually. Plenty of drunkeness and debauchery.

Sunday I spent the day at my sister's house. Poolside. Ah yeah, finally got a bit of a tan. I actually had to go on my building's rooftop on Friday to get rid of my farmer tan (yuck) since I wore a strapless to the wedding. That evening my sister and I got some groovy CD's at Target. Titles such as Booty Shakin Hits of the 90's...gotta love 'em!

And now here I am back at work. Trying really hard to stay awake. Working nights is getting a lot tougher. It's so hard to stay awake and then recuperate after a couple of nights working. Sigh. Can't wait to win the lottery.

So now I just have to worry about the reunion. Someday I'll laugh about that as well. But not just yet.

I'm living in fear...

2005-08-05T01:58:00.000-07:00

At least for tonight. I got home tonight at midnight and I when I turned the corner to my street, I noticed a guy walking across the street at the crosswalk. When I looked in my rearview mirror before trying to back up into a parking space, I noticed he walked back across the street to where he came from. I thought that was weird but I kept trying to park while fishing my cell phone out of my bag. By the time I looked up after I got my phone, he was walking on my side of the street towards my car. So then I got a little freaked but figured I was just being paranoid and finished parking my car. Well when I was nice and snug in the space (prime parking spot so I don't have to wake up early to move the car in the morning for street cleaning) he was waiting about ten yards behind and to the side of my car at a wall by the gas station lot.

So that was it, I pulled out and kept driving. I went around the block (a kinda big block too) and when I turned the corner he was there waiting! So I kept driving and damn near panicked. I called work because I didn't have anyone else to call at that hour, just to stay on the phone while I was driving. They insisted I call the police but I wondered if they'd even come for a paranoid girl. But this dude was seriously up to no good, and I'm not easily scared by that sort of thing. I ended up calling the manager of my building and she came out to meet me while I parked. I was really freaked out. The way he kept watching me no matter what I did.

I heard once you should put great big dirty workboots out on your porch to give the impression that a big burly man lives with you. What would the equivalent be for your car? Guess I'll be carrying around that pepper spray the managers at work gave us. Though with my bad luck and my general clumsiness I'd likely spray myself with it. Sigh.

So what other adventures did I have today? Well, first thing I met my brother in law at the Ford collision center to have my bumper looked at. Yesterday while attempting to park into an angled parking space at the dentist's, I inadvertently bumped into the sidewalk. The large dip into the sewer made the car go into the curb at a weird angle, and apparently with enough force to completely mangle the underside of my bumper. So I literally ran my car into the ground. What a dweeb. So that little mishap will cost approximately $650. This comes on the heels of a $300 bill to replace the left side mirror on my car after some ass hat knocked it off. I don't know if they drove past my car too close or if some lousy hoodrats played baseball with my mirror, but someone had the decency to place the mirror on my trunk. When I was walking towards my car I mistook the mirror for a dead bird. I think I'd have preferred the dead bird to a broken mirror. I could have just driven fast enough to make the bird fall off, and as much as I loathe littering, at least the bird is biodegradable.

Anyhoo, that's how I started my morning, mangled bumper. Then I installed Microsoft Office and Photoshop on my new puter. Woo hoo! Now to learn how to work the damn thing (Photoshop and I have a tenuous relationship).

Then I hunted for a unity candle for my friend Gracie for her wedding this Saturday. After I found ONE, pickings are slim for unity candles I guess, I trekked to Duarte to pick up my bridesmaids dress, finally! That has been an ordeal unto itself. I will not speak of it until I can laugh it off. At this point, I'm still not sure if I can pull it off, so I'll have to follow up on it later.

After that, I went to the rehearsal and then the rehearsal dinner. That was yumsers! Part of the wedding party ended up back at Gracie and Gary's apartment to check out the home theater system they have up. We watched parts of LOTR (3rd installement) and Full Metal Jacket. HOW could I have not seen this movie before?!? I left before the end, so I'll definitely have to Netflix it.

The night was topped off with the aforementioned fright. And now I believe I'm finally sleepy enough to overcome the jittery feeling. Good night folks!

Trepidation

2005-08-02T23:00:00.000-07:00

I'm finally doing something computer-related on my own. Well, not entirely on my own since the good people at Blogger provide the infrastructure to create a blog, but I am proud of myself nonetheless. I know, it's not a big deal at all to start a stinking blog, especially sans HTML coding (which I have done believe it or not), but I'm a firm believer in giving myself props for the small things I do on my own without screwing up. Now to figure out exactly how to post pictures, links, etc without flipping things on their sides like is my wont.

I wish desperately that this could be witty and ascerbic like the blogs I like to read, but I'm too dull for that. I'm still not sure what form this will take, but I hope I'll at least have fun with it.

So I'll have to be patient with myself as I get a footing on this blogging jazz.